orig date 8/30/10

Needle Me This

As if being pregnant at 36 weeks isn’t quite enough as far as poking and prodding – we get it from the outside AND the inside! – but to have a lab (QUEST) be completely unprofessional and just plain lame about taking your blood is inexcuseable !

I went in last week. The man looks at the doctor order for which tests. Starts mumbling about , “Oh, they don’t specify how to send it .. ” on and on with the bitching and moaning, finally goes to ask the new girl .. and i use the term ‘girl’ loosely. She was more like a raspy waterbuffalo.

He gets instructions, comes back, draws 3 vials and i’m done.

Next day: *ring ring* “Hello, turns out one of the vials was refused so we need you to come back in”.
Fantastic ! Just what i wanted to do with my 4 year old in tow AGAIN. I go in to a different location after Chachi the handyman finally finishes up his 6 hour job on the house. The tech i get sits me down and then pushes and pushes and pushes and pushes and pushes and pushes on my arm until the crease is nothing but pink. I don’t know if she has some sort of weird heat vision and can’t find a vein any other way or what.

She does the same thing to the other arm. Push push push push push push. She puts the needle in, nothing comes out.

This has never happened! as it turns out i actually have blood in my body that is normally very easily accessed. (hopefully no vampires are reading this right now!) She pulls the needle almost out. Not quite all the way, turns it, and slides it all the way back in, still no blood, pulls it out just to the end, turns it, and slides it back in. She does this a total of THREE times. I wince; “Oh, does that hurt?” “Ummm, it doesn’t feel GOOD! Please get help if you aren’t comfortable with what you’re doing. I’ve already been through this and no one has ever had a problem finding a vein.” “I’m so sorry”
Yes.. actually, you are. Go practice on a balloon, honey, you aren’t ready for the real thing. Honestly!

She gets help, the woman looks, pushes ONCE, sticks me, and VOILA blood. Imagine that. It was there all along.. who knew? !  It’s like i have a heartbeat or something!

As a treat, i got to go grocery shopping afterwards with my kid who was, thankfully, a very good boy. Now i’m off to pretend to make dinner in the form of turkey sandwiches and salads…. yes, i  know, i am not a domestic diva as some may think. *gasp* But seriously. It’s not fast food, i don’t have to turn on the oven, and there will be minimal dishes to clean up. At almost 37 weeks pregnant, i think i’m doing a fantastic job !