orig post 9/1/’10

Daddy Dearest

Holy Goodness. I wonder how many women have to monitor the relationship between their husbands and their sons. From the beginning I feel like i’ve been the referee.
I had a conversation with a friend not too long ago and her take on resemblance was that on a basic biological level, she feels children must bear a strong resemblance to their fathers so the father can feel that responsibility and link to the kid. Why then, couldn’t Mother Nature also insert a bit of estrogen just to sprinkle some tolerance and patience in there too? I’ve come to understand this is not uncommon with my own family. Even thinking back to the limited relationship my brothers had with our dad, it was strained and unpleasant at best. I wonder if men will ever see the irony in that. They wont ever ‘get’  how difficult they can be even when it’s reflected right there in a 2 or 3 or 4 year old tantrum.
“If it’s not my way, it’s NO WAY!”
am i speaking of my child or my husband right there? .. hmm ?? can’t tell, right?
I’m not saying as women we are fault-free or perfect, but my goodness! Such head-butting and relationship management isn’t necessary with mom’s and their kids.
(because who would monitor it?!) – thank God for Moms groups and friends and coffee places!!
I’m looking forward to all the different experiences i’m going to have raising my daughter… right up until high school, then i’m getting my riot gear and gas mask and all bets are off. i already know what’s comin’ down the pike because i remember being that nightmare moody, bipolar, dark, brooding 15 year old who thinks her mother knows nothing. I’m expecting doors slammed, names called and fingers being flashed on the opposite (and safe) side of the door… and she’ll probably be doing some nasty things as well!
But what is it with the father/son thing? I don’t fault my husband 100% or my son, but it’s both of them being intolerant of the other at the most random times.
One of those mysteries of life i suppose… mysteries that we, as moms, must wait to solve because right now the kid needs to finish his dinner, or shower, or bath, or the husband needs to just get to work already. Maybe once the kids are in school this mystery can be further reflected on and possibly resolved… after the giant lunch time margarita.

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