Obladee Oblada Pregnancy Goes OOOOON
I haven’t been inspired to write in a few days because … hmm .. let’s see… NOTHING’S CHANGED! I’m still pregnant.
I’m hearing lots of consolation advice like, “she still needs to cook longer” “have patience”
BLAH BLAH BLAH
Lemme ‘splain. It’s not that i’m being kookoo and am obsessed with seeing this little creature that’s been beating me up from the inside for the past few months, it’s more that I want my digestive system back. I’m under no delusion that i’m going to get more sleep once she’s born, but you know what? I’m looking forward to sleeping without acid in my mouth, or having to pee 1 oz of pee at a time, or the Tum-Ta-Tum-Tum TUUUUUMS aftertaste, or the feeling that the single peanut, or flake of cereal, or, yes, hamburger is trying to make a midnight appearance. The “heartburn” is driving me insane because it’s what’s depriving me of sleep.
I can handle a fussy, poopie, hungry baby keeping me awake because i will love her. I do not love my stomach acid. Sure it has it’s place, but we do not hold hands and sing kumbaya by the fireplace. Nosiree.
Also, despite popular belief, I am not a svelt supermodel when not pregnant, so the extra weight is killing my body these last few weeks…. especially since throwing in the towel of hoping she’ll drop out at any moment, i’ve taken the world on as my buffet. I held out until my 9th month to do this, so i’m pretty proud of myself. I’ve come to understand the heartburn will come no matter what, so i’m making it worth the pain, damnit.
I watched “A Baby Story” today and cried. When the amazingly lucky woman who actually had the chance to birth her baby pushed out the little goo-covered miracle, i cried because a-hormones are nuts right now and b-i was emerald green with jealousy ! I’m getting so anxious to have that moment.
I feel as if i’ve gone back in time in some way. When we were trying to get pregnant, it’s all i could think about. There was no “2 months later i realized i hadn’t had a period, so i walked out and got a pregnancy test” No no, it was more like, 3 days before I’m supposed to be checking, i ran my bohemoth butt out to get a stick to pee on. I don’t do waiting very well.. actually ,i’m a hugely patient person, but i do not do anticipation well at all. At. All. So now, here I am almost 38 weeks pregnant and I feel like I can and should go into labor at any moment. The whole experience has been a bit strange and i know i’ve pretty much only written about this, but what can i say … it’s sort of all consuming right now.
With my first i was on bedrest and had a husband who was busy with many other things at the time, so our main focus was not “when will the baby come?!”.
I got a call at 38 weeks that I had a scheduled induction. I went from pregnant to ‘i have 24hrs to get mentally prepared for a baby’, and then BAM! there he was.
This time, nooOOOoo it’s been totally different. First off, we tried for 7 months to GET pregnant. Then the time pretty much flew by until that 36 week check I was told I had started to dilate and was effacing.
Whoa, really?! Wow… so i’m not counting down ’til the end of September? Watching my husband turn 3 shades of white at the news i had begun to dilate was interesting. Then the next week it was , “Oh, i lost my mucus what?” So certainly labor was imminent, no?
No.
THEN I had contractions on a Friday before a 3 day weekend. Totally prepared to have this baby at this point, right?
Nope. Go ahead and wait a bit longer… no biggie. And to top it off, come back Saturday to lay in the DELIVERY ROOM bed in front of the empty bassinet so we can check your blood pressure and Non Stress Test the baby to make sure she’s ok. … for 3 hours. (amazingly, this was the highest BP readings i’d gotten.. go figure!)
*sigh*
So therein lies my the source of my bitching and moaning… and yes, we are lucky, we are blessed, the kid will go to term and lessen any health scare we might have
blah blah blah.
Logically I know this, but emotionally ( and it’s what i’m going on these last 2 weeks ) I have to go with how i’m feeling, not how i’m logically thinking.
So if you encounter a pregnant lady in the store who is staring blank-faced down the diaper aisle twitching and foaming a little at the mouth, don’t judge.
If you see a big round body resembling that of a pregnant manatee caressing a box of starter bottles alternately laughing and crying, just smile and keep on moving.
And whatever you do, don’t make eye contact! Just remember those days before you gave birth to your own child.. or remember back to when you were 6 years old counting the cartoons ’til Christmas morning… have empathy and don’t judge too harshly I know I will get my sanity back eventually … if only the painful, amazing, terrifying labor experience would start, THEN i’d be happy!
Sarcasmica 