Mommy Wants WHAT?


Yes, it’s a sad fact that i am turning 36 tomorrow. Sadder still is the fact that i’m now interested in make up. I am thinking i’m officially old now, and i have a super short haircut that shows off my  bags and wrinkles, so the least i can do for the general population is spend 5 minutes slathering on some concealer and a powder to even it all out. It only took me 36 years to try to figure it all out!

Redmond Washington, you are welcome. Viewers of any pics i might lose my mind and post of MYSELF and not just my kids, you are welcome also. … hopefully… i haven’t actually used any of it yet, but i’m assuming it’ll be a great improvement over the nekkid face.

So my husband asks me last weekend what i want for my birthday. In addition to the haircut, i asked for a gift card to Macy’s so i can pick out some makeup. Now i don’t normally frequent the goop counters, but i’ve passed by my fair share of times to know what’s required. Nothing more than a willingness to sit in an uncomfortable chair, and to let passersby judge whatever the makeup guru is slathering on your face trying to sell you. At this minimum requirement, you get to pick and choose what works or what you want.

I guess this confused my husband, god bless ‘im. He somehow made an appointment with what i’m told was a very confused employee so i could get a ‘consultation’.

I nixed that and just did what i planned in the beginning. So now i am armed with a box of four different  foundations for the same skin tone. Why the hell you need four different foundations for the same face i have no idea. The brush-wielding counter attendant assured me “the dvd will explain everything”

Is this going to be like when i was so excited to get the Uber baby sling, and after opening the box, the DVD fell out and my mind was made up right then and there that it was too complicated? Anything that requires and instructional video is automatically too intense and complicated for my 4 already overworked braincells.

I’m hoping this will be easy. I’m pretty much starting over as an adult. I chopped my hair off so i can easily style it. I’m going with a basic make up kit to learn from the beginning.

They say as you age, rolls reverse and frequently use the elderly in comparison to a teenager or toddler, even. Some elderly probably shouldn’t be driving, but they do because no one really wants to cart them to doctors appointments… much like a teenager pre-license. The worse off are in Depends and constantly argue over what is acceptable behavior or not. .. much like a toddler.

So is 36 where you begin to regress? Starting to wear ‘grown up makeup’ and using styling products on your hair on a daily.. .. or at least every other day frequency.

The trial concealer is burning my eyes, so this will be a short entry. My skin is rebelling at the thought of being denied oxygen after all this time flying free. Party’s over, pores!

 

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