Big Wiener/Weiner Winer


For the record, i looked up “Weiner” online (weiner dog, actually, just to give it context. i did not need to see the images and pages a simple word like Weiner would give me) to find the correct spelling and couldn’t get a consistent answer. I did not look past the first page, of course, but i’m going with Weiner. I know the whole ‘i before e except after c’ nonsense, but true to English that is not an absolute.

So there’s nothing like a GIGANTIC lotto frenzy to make you feel insignificantly infinitesimal. It’s astonishing to think THAT many people bought tickets last week and somehow no one won. So this week, i was one of the masses standing in line. Paying with quarters. (yes, quarters. ten dollars worth i pulled it out of my husband’s coin jar!) I paid ten dollars to fantasize about a life I have no shot – this week – of living. The people in line behind me and the guy behind the counter – with latex gloves on – were sooooo tickled with amusement at this.

It’s amazing how quickly you can spend that much money in your own head! I planned a vacation. I even included some people, I planned out who I would buy a home for… along with all the stipulations i’d hand over with the keys. 🙂 My biggest worry – and i DID worry about it – was where we’d buy a home… then it dawned on me, why settle for one location?! You’re a millionaire! I could have had at least three homes!
I considered what my husband would do for work/if he’d work. Isn’t that nice of me? I decided he’d still work because let’s face it, we did not get married to sit around and stare at each other all day!
My kids would be even more spoiled than they already are. I’d have a bigger gas guzzler. .. possibly more than 1.

It’s silly, but it’s fun, and i know i’m not alone. I even planned on buying an Elf on the Shelf! But alas, I am just one of the minions again. I am, however, better trained for the day i do win. For instance, i’ve gotten myself out of the idiocy of believing I had to choose only one location for a home. One step closer, y’all !

The statistics on a lotto ticket make you feel like a moron for even trying. But then you find out so-and-so didn’t even try and we all know what goes through our head when we find that out.

Idiot.

Coulda been a gazillionaire, now you’re not.

So you’re a Lemming for trying and an idiot for not. And people wonder what kind of place i live in inside my head. It’s a wonder i wake up and smile once a … week/month/year depending on the type of day i’m having!

On the other hand, my kids only cried and yelled for 20 minutes after bedtime tonight, so really, i  did win the lotto.

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