Grocery Heaven

Published January 21, 2013 by sarcasmica

As if grocery shopping is not already a pain in the ass, the holidays make it even more difficult. And it seems recently the grocery stores are trying to get in the massive amount of impulse buying people do for said holidays.

I had to run in to the store quickly today with my 2 year old. This child is normally an angel. She’s really a much more well-behaved child than i deserve, certainly. But there are some things that remind me she is mortal. Stuffed animals, for instance. She has an obsession for them. She has a collection, a menagerie if you will, and they are all loved, all adored, and all go everywhere in the house with her. I’m considering getting an extra room in the next house so we can build a kennel of sorts for these things.

Anyway, so i’m rushing through what should have been a quick trip when she spots the COLOSSAL Titanic-sized Crowned Valentine stuffed animals right smack in the middle of the main walkway as you enter the store. And they are frogs. One of the many favorite species of love.

I WANT THE FROGGIE!!!!!

shitshitshitshitshit.

“Oh look at the fun {cheapass} nearly hidden .99 cent cups that have Mike & Sully!!!!” (her new movie favorite – Monsters Inc.)

I WAAAAANT THE FROOOOOOOGIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!

screaming ensues for the rest of the trip. Not high-pitched bratty screeching. No, pitiful, loud, big shouting desperate hopeful demanding.

I WAAANT THE FROOOOOOOOOOOOOG MOMMY, PLEASE !!!!!!!

and here i am, just trying to smile my way through it. The kid is a spectacle with her pink sequined boots, her giant pink and black tutu attached to the hidden dress covered in the purple hoodie with the sequined cat on the front. and big blue teary eyes.

And she’s carrying her new Build a Bear horse Santa so lovingly left for her.

It’s a ridiculous sight.

Before children i used to think these scenes played out for the spoiled children with the obnoxious parents. Now i know better. Only the strong hold out against the demands, causing the actual break down. If i gave in, she’d be quiet and no one would be the wiser we were even there!

But i will admit my kids might possibly be a tad spoiled. So what? I wasn’t and look how that turned out !

So i do give in here and there, and i’m sure it’s confusing, blah blah blah. But a giant stuffed crowned frog is not going to be my undoing. I learned my lesson when i was dumb enough to win a nearly life-sized killer whale at Sea World that is still guarding our garage …. from the rafters… waiting ’til the day it’s forgotten and we can finally ‘re-home’ him.

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