Why SAHMoms Get Fat

Because it’s easy as hell!

We are home most of the day. We are home with our child(ren) most of the day. We are taking care of and entertaining and fussing over our kids all day long.

Our choice is to drink or eat.

My choice was always to eat. It makes life at home a helluva lot more fun! Have you TRIED the kid’s snacks?! They are delicious! Do you ever see one of those little suckers finish anything you give them?! Rarely. So why throw away perfectly good food? It’s a waste! .. and that shit is expensive!

I tried the whole, “Just put it in a baggie and they can eat it later” crap. Have you seen the look on a kid’s face when you hand them a ziploc bag of old unfinished snacks? They are fully aware of the goo and unmentionables covering that food. They wont eat their own boogers unless it’s served fresh on their fingers, people. They don’t eat no second-hand third-time-around ziploc flavored goldfish.

If it didn’t come out of a reflective bag, it’s not going down their throat… or all over your carpet/wood/floors/wood shavings.

I use my kid as an excuse to have a lunch date with myself. Other mom friends aren’t always available, and if i’ve been in this house too long, i start talking to the animals. I have to get out and lunch is a great reason to do that! You aren’t outside in the rain. Someone brings you food. You don’t have to make sense of the contents of your own pantry and fridge to throw together something resembling a complete meal. They tell you what the options are! And best of all. No clean up.

I don’t go to the places you have to clean up after yourself. If i’m going through the money and hassle of taking the toddler in public, you are damn sure i’m being served.

Oh yea, and we have a fabulous time!

Our favorite (close by and has a reward program) is Panera. Can YOU walk into Panera and order something healthy and NOT get the “only .99 add on” of a pastry/cookie/goodie from the bakery?! I can’t.

So that, my friends, is how we get fat. If we take the kids out of the house, it’s so THEY can get exercise. Not us. We get out of the house in packs so we can bitch and compare notes and just let the beasts run wild among themselves while we sit sipping our ‘coffee’ from our completely not see through tumblers of assumed content.

I don’t judge. If you are comfortable sneaking some wine in your mommy sippy cup, more power to ya! I know if i did it that would be the day my kid needed to be rushed to the emergency room for something and i’d get caught.

But to each their own. Some choose the wine, i choose the doughnuts…. or i did. I’m now a reformed SAHfatty. 🙂