Enough Already!

Published March 21, 2013 by sarcasmica

I need a sanity break. I don’t know how the single moms do it. My mom lives with us and is a HUGE help, especially when my husband is traveling and i STILL manage to lose my mind regularly.

Oh. My. God.

Children can be so clueless sometimes!

Imagine that!

They are a living testament to the fact that common sense is a technique learned early on or not at all. And if you are lucky enough to be a common sensical person like myself, you must take a moment to appreciate whatever it was that taught that to you. Be it your parents, the absence of parents, being raised by wild animals, or a single parent.

I pride myself on some of my common sense abilities and have always vowed to instill that in my children.

Before i understood how hard it would be.

Today we had spelling homework.

*moment of silence for all the brain cells i lost as a trade off for not throttling my kid*

Followed by math.

*let us take another moment*

Oddly enough, spelling is usually the homework that causes bouts of hysteria and seizures and spitting from my 6 year old. Cries of pain and shouts of indignation about how “You can’t control my life forever!”

yes. he has actually said this before.

But for some bizarre reason, tonight everything was flipped. Spelling had virtually no foaming at the mouth or fist pounding, but the math!!

Holy shit, the math !!!

It almost did me in. I think the amount of hand-in-the-hair-deep-breathing from me actually caused a few hairs to turn gray.

I’ll take this opportunity to remind you this is just 1st grade math. Who knew ?! I thought it would be easy ! I am terrified to see what 3rd and 4th grade holds for us.

My kid is usually a super star with math, but today we had doubles + (plus 1 or 2)  For the other inept parents out there like myself, that simply translates to 6+6  and also 6+8; 5+7; blah blah blah

We got through it… barely.

And i think i’m going to celebrate it being over with a double myself…  vodka that is!

holla !

I just took a break from bitching writing, and put them into bed after their stories and now i’m breathing easier. This is the promised land, people.

My own time.

Their little hamster wheel brains are slowing down and they are closing their red glowing eyes and succumbing to the sand man. As this happens, i feel a little of my own sapped energy pass from their walls back to my body.

What shall i do with this new found energy? Walk on the treadmill? Take out the trash? Put away laundry?

Answer: Lift the remote repeatedly.

It’s not the weight, people, it’s the reps. I take this very seriously.

 

 

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