1000

So i’ve recently discovered i can keep an eye on how many views this little under-the-radar, small town blog gets. I’m 2 from 1000 !

As my husband points out, i have a lot of entries, so that actually doesn’t equal a whole lot, but i don’t care. I’m gonna be a man about it and just mind the number and not the content. … like 36DDDs.   They don’t care if it’s silicone or actual boob meat

I’m serving a 2 week sentence while he travels again. And it’s starting interestingly. The last time he traveled, my son was trying to find any way to sleep in my room with me while he was gone. I don’t know why, this kid does not sleep, so why should it matter where he is? He must fight giant cyborg T-Rexes while blindfold in his sleep. He thrashes and turns and talks and kicks.

Not unlike his mom.

So i told him “Get 100% on your spelling test, and you can sleep in my room when dad’s gone. ONE. NIGHT.”  I have to admit, while we worked and slaved away at this achievement, i wasn’t entirely confident it would happen anytime soon.

So lo and behold this Friday, he got it. His 100%. My elation was short-lived when i realized it meant i have to share my giant bed with my rabid karate nun-chuck-wielding restless abusive sleeping child.

In all his excitement, he informs the 2 year old where he’s sleeping tonight.

Neither of my kids have ever been in the habit of sleeping with us because … well, i just never understood why that door to parent hell ever needed to be opened. Once you let them in, they never leave.

Like a recovering weight watchers client newly off the wagon at a buffet. … she said with zero knowledge of this experience.

I have little control over the other nonsensical parenting issues, why add another that i can actually control ?

Anyway, so my toddler throws her pillow and favorite blanket up onto my bed and declares she will also be camping out on my bed.

I had to hold back an “awwww, HELL no!” and instead let her lay up there for half of a Sesame Street before enduring a tiny Gemma-sized tantrum after putting her back in her bed.

For a 20 minute span, i was running back and forth between the two making a tactical plan with my son to fake the little one out … he had a fit because he didn’t understand fully the point, plus he was tired and not really listening…so then i have one indignant 2 year old refusing to move to her bed, and one 6 year old crying because the lie i was trying to convince him to tell his sister was believed to be truth.

It was a three ring circus that was proving more problem than just letting them have the room while i sleep on the damn couch!

Anyway, suffice it to say i’m now sitting here at 9:55pm dreading the black eye/cheek/boob i’m going to wake up with and just hoping i’ll get enough sleep to function tomorrow and enjoy the day.

Wish me luck, and here’s to (hopefully) 1000 views of my little regurgitation of silly life moments and my sarcastic and hopefully witty spin on reality.

I’m hoping more people will start to leave comments so i can convince my husband the number of views are not just by me re-reading my own entries!

🙂