So there I am. Sitting at my weight watchers meeting after spotily showing up every two or three weeks.  It’s rainy this morning, so there wasn’t a big crowd waiting to be weighed in like so many heads of cattle.


So here’s the standard. You say your hello’s to the person behind the counter. You make small idle chit chat. Usually about the weather. I hand over my booklet and card to prove i’m paying extra every month to make the poor diet guilt weigh even more heavily on me.

Once you step on the scale it goes one of two ways.

A- you get a sparkly look from the volunteer and a triumphant “you lost ___ this week!” and you get to feel superior for an instant. Like you managed to cheat the system somehow.

B- you get a tight lipped look and your booklet handed back to you with no words uttered. You get to hang your head and do the walk of shame to your seat and make no eye contact while waiting for the meeting to start.

I didn’t bother to look at my little weigh in sticker until  i sat down. I did note, however, the idle chit chat stopped after i stepped on the miniature freight scale. I checked my sticker and saw i gained 1.8lbs.

In all fairness, it’s been three weeks since my last weigh in. It’s not like i managed a nearly 2lb gain in one week…. not that it hasn’t happened..

I knew i didn’t do any tracking or trying, so i wasn’t particularly disturbed by the news.

So now the meeting starts. Having not been to one in a couple weeks, i couldn’t participate in the follow up part to last week. No biggie.

So towards the end, one woman was curious as to what everyone ate during the day. Lunch/snacks. There is a smattering of high achievers and silent ground-lookers. I search my brain for something acceptable to speak up about and half raise my hand to start suggesting hummus. It was a surprising and useful find for myself to make snacking more acceptable.

The lady looks at someone in the front row – overachiever – and says, “you’ve lost a lot, what’s your secret? what do you eat for lunch?”

This french-accented woman starts talking about a single piece of wheat toast and bruchetta (gag) and then goes into her yogurt breakfast

Another pipes up about greek yogurt with added granola and fresh fruit.

Somehow my hummus suggestion seems very inadequate. Then as more and more people make healthy suggestions i begin chuckling to myself thinking of my own shortcuts. Like taking the top bun off the Red Robin CHICKEN burger before digging in.

And smearing peanut butter all over an apple to make it palatable.

Forcing myself to only have ONE basket of chips with salsa when i go out  for a burrito.

you know, all the hard pressed sacrifices.

Then i begin to convince myself that it’s about time to re-evaluate my own eating habits … once again. I continue to remind myself that i DID manage to lose 40lbs and it only happened with effort and pointed change and exercise.

So I just sat on my hands and told myself once i’ve succeeded in finding actual success and consistency, i can contribute and not make an ass of myself. .. an elephant ass.


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