Birthday Loan

My oldest is turning 7 tomorrow.


It’s such a cliche, but i seriously don’t know where the time went.

Other than the gray hair covering my head (under the dye job) and the extra *(% lbs i’ve gained since he was born, of course… and the lack of any bladder control, i mean, i have no idea that much time has passed.

I feel like the parents should be able to have a party as well. Afterall, we made it this far. It wasn’t luck that got him to 7, people. It was sheer determination, alcohol, and a whole lot of cussing.

I might’ve said a bad word or two myself.


So as i’ve mentioned before, my wonderful son chose a theme that does not exist at the party stores. Minecraft. I’ve done most of the decorations with just plain green and black, but other things i couldn’t fake quite as well. I’ve also been peace-mealing the party supplies so i don’t have to take one gigantic hit all at once. (I will be doing a separate post on all the decorations and crap favors i lovingly spent free time working on)

And yet still I manage to bulge my eyeballs every time i see the register totals.

What the hell ?!! I just spent $50 on some NINETY NINE CENT trays, a bag of balloons, a table cloth, and some additional party favors.

I am in the wrong business. Party stores and printer ink seem to be where the fortune is to be had. The thing that really chaps my hide is that i don’t even have an accurate count of guests because my son’s classmates either used the invites to roll their joints, or they used them to wallpaper the inside of their trashcans at home because i haven’t heard a peep out of anyone but two classmates. 2 out of 15. That’s a terrible ratio!

I bet if i put on the invite that the first ten responses got a coupon for a free margarita, my inbox would have exploded.

hmmm .. mental note for the next party

So i’m planning a giant party for a bunch of invisible guests because surely more than 2 kids are showing up from his class. I’ve never even heard these children’s names used in school conversations with my kid. His best friend’s dad told my husband at pick up yesterday, “Well, we figured you wouldn’t turn us away when we showed up.”

Maybe i will. After all this crafting and spending, you think i wont have the capability to turn into Mega Bitch Mom at the drop of a dime?? TRY ME!

I am fiercely passive aggressive, so i might just spit on your meatball also. An actual meatball. Get your minds out of the gutter.

So tonight i will be busily chopping cutting and traying all the stuff that needs prep time. It’s taken me 7 Christmases and birthdays to figure out saving all the work ’til the end just makes it stressful and more complicated.

My husband lovingly (i.e. was nagged to an inch of his hearing to get it done) made some cardboard cut outs yesterday. I love that man, but one would have thought by the end of it I hadn’t already spent hours and hours on all the OTHER things that will make this Pixelpalooza Party.

So here’s to my kid for surviving his parents and life, and me for surviving my kid !! I love him to pieces and wouldn’t have him any other way !  … except maybe obedient and attentive… and with a slightly larger mouth to fit all those teeth but doesn’t feel the need to use quite as often.

But other than that, he is the perfect kid for me and i love him to bits



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