Oasis in the Summer


If Target had a theme song, that would be considered The Song of My People.

But they don’t, sadly

I was just inside the store with kids both sardine-ed into the cart when my oldest brother called me to talk about some family matters. I’m going through the aisles to pick up my various necessities-that-are-somehow-only-necessities-inside-these-doors, and somewhere around the snack aisle he clues in to where I am finally. He asks, “Who the hell does grocery shopping at Target?”

*crickets*

How is this even a question? I am not understanding the words coming out of the phone. It’s more like who DOESN’T grocery shop at Target ?!

I begin speaking to him like a small dim-witted child.

”  I    grocery shop at Target.”

He was still confused.

“STAY at HOME MOMS shop at Target for ANYdamnTHING”

As i’m trying to keep my cool, i’m looking around and noticing all the moms with now older and varied sized children clinging onto carts and legs and purses, and yet no one is yelling.

Well, one unlucky mom was, but that wasn’t until i got to the other side of the store, and it was short-lived. She was on her way to the toy section.

It is summer in the northwest, people. Even though it’s not July 5th – as i’ve learned is the official start to the season – school is OUT! Where do we universally flock to for an hour of minimally bothered calm and reflection while still able to pick up medicine, meat, milk, and a toy while sipping a freshly brewed/blended/muddled Starbucks?

say it with me now…

Target !

This is our haven. Our meeting place. Our watering hole, if you will. As i explained to my uninformed male sibling, where else can you pick up all the necessities and still keep your sanity? There is bribery for everyone involved. For some reason, the grocery store has a kriptonian effect on my sanity with my children, and their ability to not be annoying.

Maybe it’s the wide aisles, or the various Targets located throughout the store to continually hypnotize all inhabitants, it works, so we go.

It is especially useful on days like today. Days when mommy has PMS, and is staring down another weekend with the husband leaving town for two weeks, nothing to make for dinner at home, and both kids home all. day. long.

If they had a walk-up bar, it would be heaven on earth.

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