Dog Days

This is the kind of day that makes me question my sanity. Makes me feel like I had no idea what i was getting into when i decided to have not one, but two kids. Twice the joy, yes, but today is a day that outlines twice the havoc.

It all began last weekend when my daughter fell down and scraped her eye and her knees. She was tough. She cried on the ride home, but other than that, she was fine.

My husband left to go out of town on Monday for just under two weeks.

Last night I went to sleep around 11. At 1:30-ish I hear my daughter calling for me.

This kid sleeps like a log consistently since she was 11 weeks. I know, i’m blessed, and believe me when i say i understand how amazing that is and i do appreciate it. But it threw me off when she  called out for me in the middle of the night.

I check on her and she tells me she had a bad dream.
“I was at the park and somebody took my chalk!”

I talked her down from the ledge.. the ledge of the sandbox.. and she went back to sleep after a bit.

I, however, was now wide awake. … for two hours. Just as solitaire was lulling me to sleepy time, my son barges in my room at 3:30 announcing he had a bad dream.

No more Red Robin for dinner.

I walk him back, he comes in the obligatory one more time and then he’s out after threats of taking various things out of his room for not just staying in his bed.

After another 45 minutes or so of iphoning to dull my brain and tire my eyes, i drift off somewhere around 5. At 6:20 my daughter is up for the day and as a result so was I.

I play zombie on the couch for a bit this morning until i have enough energy to make breakfast for us all. We eat and we get on the road for our afternoon playdate. A playdate I was “this close” to going completely the wrong direction and place until it dawned on me how very wrong I was. Thankfully that was fixed before it happened.

We had fun with friends, then my daughter asked to go home because she was tired. We were right in the middle of her naptime. We get home, she stumbles out of the car and walks to the door. My son and I bring down the trashcans and my daughter gets a third wind and begins running in the yard and down the rough stone walkway.



She falls down and re-scrapes the knee that was nearly healed from last weekend’s spill.

My punchy, nap-deprived, hungry, already injured 2 year old is having a bad day, and now we all were. Neighbors included. I soothe her enough to get her in the house, sit her on the counter, and bring out my newly purchased “ouchless” foaming bubbly antibacterial ooze.

From the cries after it dried, I would have to claim false advertising.

I got her in her room with not much hope she’d lay down and nap, but at least the bed and pillow and necessities were nearby should she have an urge to close her eyes.

Instead, she screamed and wailed for the next hour. I did what i could, but i’d like to know how anyone thoroughly cleans and bandages a toddler?! I have never been able to do it with either kid. Thankfully there was never much need for it, but when it happens, it’s so fricking difficult.

I don’t think it was coincidental that my neighbors on each side of our house got in their cars and left within 10 minutes of each other. I was envious. I wished i could have fled the scene as well.

My son, who hates the basement unless there’s a video game going on on the TV down there, decided all on his own to hightail it down there without any prompts. He’d rather sit in the dark basement alone twiddling his thumbs than share space with the shrieking pterodactyl.

Lucky kid.

We endured for a little over an hour, and in the end she ended up crashing on the couch after calming the cries for 4 minutes of quiet breathing.

So now when the husband Skypes and asks how things are going, what do i say?

“Just fine, dear.” is a red flag for “you f-ing bastard, how dare you leave the country and leave me with these two to fend for my self?!”

If i tell him the real story his eyes glaze over after the first two minutes, then all i’d be doing is ensuring his leaving soon after he gets back.  As it was I caught a look of relief lighting his eyeballs the morning he was packing to leave. Like a prisoner readying himself to walk into the sunshine again.

So i give him half the story and try not to complain too much so the focus is on everyone being fine here, and my own superpowers of coping reminding him how good he has it.

So now the complication is we have a first time play date in an hour. I couldn’t let her sleep too far past that time anyway if she is expected to sleep tonight, but I feel like the nap was so hard fought for, she (i.e. me) deserves at least a solid two hours. I’d wager left to her own devices and dreams she’d be out for at least 3 but I wont be able to prove that.

I was hoping to crash on the couch, myself, while both kids had some downtime before the next playdate. No such luck. Let’s see how long mommy can run on fumes and iced tea.

I haven’t been this tired since there was a newborn in the house.

Let’s all take a minute and send a prayer to the gods that is not now the case. My brain cells are forever grateful.

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