Today is a day we are supposed to celebrate our country. Hoo-ra USA.
My idea of a celebration is somebody helping watch my kids while i imbibe umbrella-bedecked drinks so that i can enjoy watching someone else take care of my kids.

Instead, the kids are running roughshod over myself and my mom to the point they are now jumping around the yard in pillow cases under the guise of a sack race just to try and keep the yammering at bay. The kids, on the other hand, are driving each other nuts because they’ve been in the vicinity of each other for an unnaturally long period of time due to school being out. When one of them is out of line, they get a double nag because my mom has also had it with the bickering and the crying and the “kid-ing”.

So now i’ve fired up the BBQ – literally – and my only hope as i’m roasting ears of corn and hot dogs is that A- i sure hope i make it to bedtime without throwing one of the kids on the barbie and B – i sure could use a coconutty, strong, frothy, sweet and refreshing cocktail served to me by a speedo-clad muscly heterosexual buff mute Chippendale-esque butler.

Happy 4th everyone! I hope your family all drives you to the brink of a hangover like mine!!

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