Get Me OUTTA Here!

Published July 12, 2013 by sarcasmica

Two more days ’til I leave for Vegas sans kiddies and it cannot get here soon enough!

Today my son had to have yet another round of invasive intruders in his mouth a la` the dentist. We had to get up at 6:30 to have him there to take his ‘sleepy time cocktail’ by 7:30 so we could wait around for AN HOUR AND A HALF for the drugs to take effect. The toddler was so excited about this.

not.

She actually did fantastic, though.

Thirty minutes into the drugs, he started feeling it. Up until now both kids had both been playing with all the toys and my son built a train track. A complete one. This is important in a minute.

So he gets woozy, conks his head on the doorway beside the train tracks and just lays down on the floor. Acting all drunk. It was funny for everyone until the emotions kicked in. I told him to come sit beside me in the comfy chair, but he didn’t want to leave the tracks. An assistant came by soon after that and ‘tsk tsk tsk’ed him into the chair under the guise of “We don’t want you hurting yourself.” to which he replied, “iwon; hur- m’self, mom. prmiz.”

I told him he couldn’t get out of the chair, and he began to cry.

poor kid

So i distract him momentarily with a movie on my iphone. Then he notices a piece of the track had gotten knocked off.

Spiral.

“moOOOOommm, it’s broooookennnnnnn”

wail. cry.

I’m trying not to laugh at the poor drunk kid.

We go through another 20 minutes of bipolar alternate crying and silence before they decide it’s time to walk him back.

It’s a marathon debate at that point. He is fighting the drugs so much that he’s now overly emotional and starting to work himself into a panic.

The doctor calmly slips the nitris mask over his nose.

He looks like a panicked baby rhinoceros.

He settles down enough for them to try and put the mirror into his mouth. Just the mirror. After being calm and still for about five minutes, they stick this mirror in his mouth and he responds by trying to leap sideways off the chair… drunkenly.

My kid is a sloppy drunk. I pity his college days.

He’s talked down from the ledge, he’s back to laying down, they try to put the gas on his nose and he decides to hold his breath.

LOL

He’s never reacted to anything like that before. It was comical. He kept doing it to the dentist.

I have to hand it to the dentist, he was the most patient man i’ve ever seen. He just sat there quietly looking at my drunk kid and waited.

This whole thing was done because he’s having a metal ‘thing’ put in his mouth later on that is held in place by two rings that slip over his rear molars. The gums at the  back of these molars was too high and would just rub and agitate on the rings, so cutting the tiny bit of gum away was necessary. The point of that is to widen his jaw so there is actually room in his tiny but mighty mouth for all the chompers that are trying to come in. Also, it’ll make braces half the time later on

The first cut didn’t go so well, though. He had been quiet and calm during the start of the slice, but woke when pulling and tugging began.

I wanted to take the scalpel at this point and poke the dentist in the ear.

My son settled, and the other side was given more of a numbing shot.

ya think ?!

During this whole rigamaroll, the two office ladies were entertaining my 2 year old. Oh yea, i had a second kid around somewhere! She was running back and forth between both ladies’ offices because they had a window slider between them to pass things through, i guess. My daughter thought this was the best peek-a-boo game ever.

Then it was all over. He woke up, we got in the car, he got his chocolate shake, and then crashed for three hours.

Im sure around 10:30 tonight i’ll be regretting that nap, but he needed it.

The issue i’m having is ever since waking up, he’s just asking for trouble. Arguing and combative and talking back.

It’s hard to remember he had his gums sliced open this morning.

Get me the hell outta here !!!

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