Well helllooooo from recovery land! I’ve just survived a four night/five day Southern California getaway complete with 3 days at Disneyland/California Adventures with my mom, my 2 year old and my 7 year old.
Holy shit.
It all started one dark and stormy morning. Very very early. Actually, it began the day before. Friday afternoon, I picked my husband up at the airport after a 2 week business trip. He was SOOOO excited to take us to the airport the following morning at 4:30am!
We made it to our boarding gate with zero minutes to spare for a biscuit, a muffin, a crumb, a germ. We got on and the kids were excited to be on our merry way. The plane ride was uneventful – thankfully – and we landed in one piece. Thus began our adventure!
Still starving, we vow to make it to our Disneyland shuttle so we can get to the car rental place and get some food. We arrive at the curb precisely five minutes after the shuttle left. No biggie.. we can hang.. afterall, i had a wheelie suitcase! Great for hours of fun for the kids
After 15 minutes we find a tiny sign posted at the bottom of a nearby billboard informing us that shuttles only pick up at that time every hour.
So after a 2.5 hr flight, we had 45 minutes to wait to get onto the shuttle to get to the car rental place ?? F-it. We decide to rent the car from the airport… for a crapton more money.
After standing in line for 15 minutes, the slowest woman helps my mom get the car. After a ten minute long discussion about the weather, we get our key… then we have to hoof it underground to find the car.
At this point, i’ve only yelled at the kids 78 times to stay out of the way of cars, taxis, people, other luggage wheelers, and myself. Add to this the starvation factor and things are beginning to cloud over.
We finally get to our car to find two already installed car seats. Fantastic !!
One tiny trunk.
Not so fantastic.
My son is asking rapid-fire questions at this point. None of which I can even tell you what they were because in my head all i heard was, “go go go go go go FOOOOODD!! go go go go go go FOOOOOOD!!”
I clipped in the kids. I shoved the suitcases into the car. SHOVED.
Stroller wouldn’t fit.
Take out stroller. Throw it halfway across the next parking stall. Heave and spit. Try again.
Stroller wouldn’t fit.
Shout expletives. Push and shove luggage some more, tweak stroller wheels and handles to force a fit.
VOILA!
Get in the car now sweating, hot, hungry, and “DONE”.
My mom has laid her license somewhere because the chatty clerk told her she’d have to show it again.
But where, oh where, has my mom left it? Not in the seat. Not on the floor, Not on the dash, the console, the glove box. Not in the door panel or her pockets.
It’s on the ground behind the car along with the rental receipt.
We are all frazzled now and my son is asking what sonofabiscuit means.
“Mom, do you want me to drive?”
“NO! It’s in my name, i’ll drive.”
“You sure? You seem kind of frazzled.”
“NO, i’m fine.”
We get in. We clip in. She starts the car. Drive.
the car goes nowhere.
“Parking break, mom.”
“Shit”
*click*
“Oh crap, i think i popped the hood.”
I get a text. not . now .
I get out, shut the hood.
Mom gets a phone call. not. now.
We finally pull out.
another text. *ignore*
Go through the guard stand and in search of food.
“There’s the freeway”
“Where?”
“back there.”
Another phone call. *ignore*
“MOOOOOOM, i’m hungry. Are we there?”
“Mommy, i hungee”
Make a U-Turn and find Carl’s Jr.
FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD !!!
We finally get breakfast at 10am after being awake for 6 1/2 hrs. It was the BEST food i’ve ever had.
Finally answer the calls/texts let family know we are on our way.
40 minutes later, we arrive at my brother’s to check out his new house. It’s great, the cousins meet. My kids take all the baby’s toys and the baby is not a happy cousin. We had a great day that included a BBQ, a park, and a great friend that drove down to play for an hour.
Then we had to drive back to the hotel 40 mins away. …
to be cont …
Sarcasmica 