Has Been


My husband’s work schedule is aging me. My mom graciously agreed to watch the kids so i could get out for a movie tonight. I needed a little sanity break.

As i’m writing this at 9:15, my son is coming out of his room for the third time for nothing. Nonsense stalling.

I need to go back out suddenly. Why did i come home right after the damn movie? I couldn’t stop for an ice cream or Target trip?!

No, because i’m trying to be responsible. (BLECH) and save money. (Double BLECH)

I’m leaving the movie tonight and feeling melancholy. It was a Woody Allen movie, and truthfully, only the second one i’ve ever watched. The first was Midnight in Paris, and i was not impressed.

Desperation to get away from the house apparently drives me into otherwise strange circumstances.

In the theater tonight were hordes of older couples. Couples. Walking away from the theater i felt kind of lonely.

THIS is why i typically only see silly frivolous movies alone. I am fine to laugh alone, but the melancholy stuff just makes me moody and sad while he’s away. No one to talk to during the exit walk.

Ten years ago we would have been just starting our night. (my husband and I were dating waaaaay back then) We would take his Harley to a club and dance and drink and dance until my feet were too sore to get back to the bike. I had friends back then. I had friends i could call on a moment’s notice and just go out and have “fun”. What i believed to be fun then is not the same now. Funny how a decade can drop your expectations as low as Miley’s Twerkin’ ass.

Now “fun” can be anything from playing my own music as loud as I want in a car inhabited by only me, to a solo trip to the grocery store or Target.

We used to leave loud, stinky, hot, dark clubs if they weren’t ‘fun enough’. What is this phrase?! It’s now only used for parks and toys.

Now I have to plan outings if i want company. No spontaneity anymore. Adulthood kinda sucks when it comes to “fun”. I had a terrible thought that aged me most un-gracefully.  That awful phrase popped into my head on the way home; “Youth is wasted on the young”

I think that put me in the ‘mid life’ category.

UGH

Should i start stowing away Depends now?! I’m not even 40 yet!

The movie, by the way, was “Blue Jasmine”. I actually liked it. It didn’t have the lull that some of his movies – i’m told – can have. It moved the whole time, and Ms Blanchett did an amazing job, naturally.

So how here i am. Talking to a computer screen. Not reliving the night beside my husband because he is, of course, traveling. I keep telling myself this project is almost done. Almost. One or possibly two more trips and then it’s done.

Hallelujah! Then I get to have something resembling a night life back .. sort of. Watching DVR shows with someone else. Snacking with another person.

Maybe we need to find new hobbies. Something that involves moving around…

nah !! see? i blame the Woody Allen movie for such crazy ideas.

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