Being a Grown Up

I’m so not prepared to be a grown up. My mom should get all her money back from the Catholic H.S. she put me in. Like, seriously.

So my husband and I are beginning the terrifying adventure of buying a house. To make it even more fun, he’s out of the country while the search begins, so i’ve been solo-ing some Open Houses and drive-byes.

I’ve been chomping at the bit to get to the point where we can start seriously beginning this whole experience, and now i’m just terrified and can’t make a decision. There are SOOOO many factors that go into this decision. First off, we are looking for this to be a permanent situation. Not just a 5 year ‘we’ll see how it goes’ type thing or a flip. An actual long term family home. First, we have to decide on the right bedroom and bathroom count. I am NOT using a toilet my small children pee and do god-knows-what on on a regular basis. My daughter can stink up a room faster than her daddy. The two of them can revel in their own functions in their own commode room.

Also, we have extended family that comes and stays for more than just a night, so we need space to accommodate that. Also, my husband needs a space to “work”. aka allow his mail and paperwork to pile up on a desk that is not in the main living room….. says i who is currently plowing through a pile of mail to get to my keyboard.

Then we need a semi-modern kitchen. I don’t want to update anything immediately, and i’m not a granite counter snob, but i also don’t want to feel like a poodle skirt should come with the house.

We need a yard, but fenced, so the monsters (both 4 and 2 legged) can hit the ground running and be occupied while we’re moving in. I’d like to be able to access and see the yard from the house if possible. This seems like a tall order in this area because everything is on a hill and you have to deal with a big deck and a bunch of stairs to get to the weeds dog poo kids.

Another factor is school district. Not just a good one, but one that has a good support system/special ed dept, etc. How the hell do you find that out?! I’m not looking for great standardized test scores, i’m looking for great teachers, involved staff, blah blah blah.

Then we factor in nearness to the necessities like Target, Drive-thru coffee places, Grocery stores, civilization. Out here, if you are too remote, you get to deal with bears and coyotes and between you and me, i don’t need another temptation to threaten my child with. “If you don’t finish that homework RIght NOW, you can go empty the trash by the coyote den!”

Then I factor in the sex offender website. Holy hell, this is so disturbing, i’m left with a stomach ache every time i use the search. Why are these people even allowed out of a jail cell?! Why aren’t these people dropped on a heavily scorpion/tarantula infested island and told “fend for yourselves”.

At what point do you let this affect what area you buy in? Do you let it? Do you hold fast to a place where there are zero offenders??

It’s all spinning in my head at this point and i’m taking a break from it all in the hopes lots of coffee, some alcohol, a great price, and some input from my spouse might shed some light.

Maybe i’ll flip a coin or consult a magic 8 ball.

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