Sleeping In

First of all, it’s a myth for me now. Like a rainbow Unicorn or a good shoe sale.
As I lay in my bed ‘sleeping in’ after my husband generously escorted our kids downstairs listening to the shouts and hollers of, “Stop fighting with your sister!” “Get.Over.Here!” and, “What are you DOING?!” I try to find the humor in it.
Afterall, he is there and I am here so complaining is not allowed. I cannot help but hear a running dialogue in my head of how I would be managing the kids.
But i’m upstairs. So shut up, self. Remember the ‘I shall not judge’ goal?!
My thoughts are interrupted by a three year old screaming and running from her brother.
My husband, Godbless’im, is trying to shout without yelling (a keen tool developed during parenthood) from his office chair for them to ‘stopit’.
I cant help but think, “If you would only get up and sit in the same damn room as them, chances are they will behave better.”
Its not rocket science.
Interract with them even slightly and the attitudes improve immensely!
Behavior issues are squelched when you pay attention
Act now and we’ll throw in this remote control for instant entertainment.
But wait! There’s more! The first 50 participants get actual bonding time if you sit with them and attempt to watch a show TOGETHER! Feed the little buggers first and watch the red glow of their eyes go out before your very own eyes!
Participants of this parenting program have rave reviews of these techniques! It turns out all those times you walked into a room and thought your wife CHOSE to watch Jake and the Neverland Pirates actually was for a purpose other than pure entertainment and plot progression!
Who knew?! The mere presence of a parental unit could calm and gladden the mood and hearts of your very own children?!
But who am I to judge from my perch atop my comfy, soft, warm and vacant king size bed behind a closed bedroom door above all the chaos i was saved from by my generous and loving husband.