Adjustments

My nerves should be shot. The way the day has gone, I’m not sure why I’m not face down in a margarita by now, but i’m good.

Yay me.

This is either a sign that i’ve grown up a little as a parent, or i’ve completely given over to the chaos and it just doesn’t phase me anymore.

Perhaps a smidge of both?

This morning started pretty well. We were doing the get-the-boy-ready-for-school shuffle. No biggie. Head downstairs, throw the waffles in the toaster, ask my daughter to grab her shoes from the hall closet. Everyone is humming a happy tune when I hear the closet door shut – the bi-fold closet door – and then screams.

Sobbing, hurting, loud screams.

I drop everything and run for my daughter.

Gigantic tears fall out of her big blue eyes as she’s holding her pinched hand. She had closed the door from the middle, causing them to fold and shut on her hand. There was a bright red line telling me all I needed to know and to her it was maddening. She was so pissed off she had to look at a reminder of what happened that she was more upset over the mark than the actual injury.

Spongebob gel pack to the rescue. The stress eased up by the time we were only ten minutes late for leaving the house.

In the end, my son managed to get delivered to school on time. Whew!

We had a great playdate today, then off to Target for a little shop-o-rama. My daughter and I pick up my son and head back home.

It’s looking like a good day still.

We get home, let the dog out, start lunch, get homework out, bring the dog back in, sit down to eat lunch. A few minutes go by when I see this shaggy grungy brown shape trot across my back yard.

“Coyote!”

We’ve only lived here a little over a month. We’ve been in the state a year and a half and this is the second one i’ve seen.

I was completely surprised. I ran for my phone and managed to snap a pic of it for evidence. The picture didn’t do it any justice. In reality it looked massive and dangerous and riddled with mange and rabies.

In the picture it’s little more than an overgrown puppy at the far end of the yard.

I banged on the window to scare it off, and it ran for the neighbor’s yard. It disappeared from view, and then had to deal with the next ten minutes of nonstop questions ranging from whether or not it would eat our faces off if we had been out there, to talk of packs of wolves and babies being hunted.

Then my son says, “There’s another one!!”

The bastard had the cojones to come back to the yard and exit the area the same way he entered it, I suppose.

If the kids weren’t inside with me, i’m not sure I wouldn’t have gone outside after it with  … i dunno what… cat turds, a bat, my big ass shoe. I was so angry it dared enter my yard. My anger was tempered by the direction of the conversation with my son. “Because houses are being built further and further in their territory, we are kind of in his home.”

Then I wanted to bite my tongue.

I was more angry at the fear this would establish for everyone. The kids, me, our dog.

How dare a wild animal traipse through open available land! *scoff*

We all simmered down from our wild animal encounter, and moved on with our day.

Cut to this evening after dinner. The kids are playing and i’m finally burning some CDs. Some old ass CDs that had to be excavated from dust and debris because this is an activity reserved for single people, teenagers, and DJs. My son is playing UNDER an easel I had JUST set up today…

BAM!!!

– silence –

eye contact ….

howling.

My son manages to somehow whack his nose on part of it as it’s toppling over.

“am I BLEEEEDING?! I’m BLEEEEEEDING! amibleedingamibleeding?!!?!?!!?!?”

This child averages 2 bloody noses/month and has for the past year or so. … my sensory – challenged kid was cursed with bloody noses as his mother was, and his grandfather did.

“yes. you are. but it’s ok because you know what to do.”

stay calm stay calm, don’t let him see your exasperation.

Is it bad all i could think about was the project I had just minutes before started that will certainly now once again fall to the wayside? … it is? ah well, add it to the list of shortcomings.

We get him all fixed up and I realize after a few deep breaths, i’m ok. I’m good. I’m not shaky. I’m not angry, i’m not upset…. i’m good. He calmed down, as well.

Truth be told I had just today made a  Calm Down Jar and have put it to use three times already. ( I think it did me some good to boot )

So I was able to take a step back, pat myself on the back a little, and then ignore the kids to sit down and write this all down before it leaked out of my ears.

I’m told my state has legalized marijuana. Who needs to smoke out when you can play with a glass jar full of glitter in front of bleeding and pinched children?!

answer:  MEE MEE MEMEMEME MEEEE!!!