I will preface this by saying I have no clue if i’ve already written on this subject before. Too bad.
Twelve years ago I had a great afternoon with my Great Aunt Norine. She was an amazing lady. Very strong and still gentile and elegant. She was beautiful her whole life. So poised and put together. She had the most lulling voice to me. It was soft and had an Oklahoma/Northern Texas accent that I badly wished I had. My mom and I had gone over to her house for a visit and to look at some of her old pictures. She had a photo collection of my dad’s side of the family, and lots of fun stories to go along with the pictures.
I grudgingly left her house that Sunday to drive aaaaall the way down to Irvine for a blind date. I was in Redondo Beach, and it was Sunday early evening traffic. It wasn’t that I wasn’t looking forward to the date, persay, it was just that I rarely spent time with my Great Aunt and I was sad to say goodbye for something so seemingly unimportant.
I’m glad I went.
The date was a guy I had seen on the online dating site I had joined. We hadn’t sent many messages back and forth, but I was willing to give it a shot. He seemed pretty together based on his profile. (that is to say, he actually took the time to put down answers for all of the questions… and i remember there being quite a few to answer!)
Anyway, I was not a regular on the 405 south and hadn’t planned for the traffic near the Irvine Spectrum. This flustered me. A combination of leaving a lovely family afternoon, unexpected traffic, driving before the turn-by-turn directions of the iPhone of today, and the unease of that pre-first-date anticipation. I pull into the gigantic shopping center and find parking.
I’m now fifteen minutes late.
I walk up to Dave & Busters and see this very cute guy with a goatee, earrings, cuffed jeans and a button down shirt. We awkwardly greet and go inside. I was told later that I was a bit ‘aggro’ (at myself for being late) and he found that to be both cute and annoying at the same time – a common theme in our relationship.
I remember feeling a confusing mix of emotions as we began to play pool. I was a little bummed and also excited that I actually found him attractive. He was the exact ‘type’ I would say I’m attracted to. (a rare find when blind dating online twelve years ago!) I quickly realized how good he was at pool and immediately allowed my competitive nature take over part of my brain. I ordered a drink in the hopes it would loosen everything up a bit. While attracted to him, he seemed to be a bit quiet. He seemed serious. This wasn’t something I usually gel’d very well with. I found out later he was just nervous to give me the run down on his life status. (previously married, kids, etc etc etc etc) The amount of ‘etc’ should have concerned me more than they did, but hell. I was 25. What the f did I know.
So the date began to get more and more smooth and comfortable. By the time we sat down to eat dinner and get into the heavier ‘all cards on the table’ talk, things were going quite nicely. I still remember that sinking feeling of beginning to really like someone and feeling scared by it. I don’t like being more attracted to someone and having no clue where they were at with me. He was giving me virtually nothing. The conversation was going well, and we were having a good time, but specifically regarding attraction and Barry White-esque feelings, I was in the dark.
So the date ends, and he is walking me to my car. My car is out in the vast darkness of the huge parking lot. Had I been wiser, I could have falsely forgotten where my car was parked so we were forced to walk together a bit longer.
As it was, we found it, and I offered to give him a ride to his car which was not all that close to mine. He gets in and we have this end of date tension. Is he / isn’t he. Do I continue to look straight ahead while navigating the parking lot ensuring we do not crash, or do I risk long glances his direction to make my face available for a goodnight kiss.
We arrive at his car all too soon. I pull over to let him out…. and he reaches his hand out.
I was confused.
wh … .umm …. huh?
I put my hand in his and he shakes it. Not like a ‘how do ya do’ shake, but a strong, deliberate squeeze.
“A handshake? That’s what I get?”
yup .. just blurted out exactly that way. Because i’m stealthy-sexy.
He sort of chuckled and said, “What did you expect on the first date?”
Sure. Make me feel like the whore. I just shrugged and said ” I don’t know.”
Because i’m also just that eloquent.
And with that, he was gone. We had two more dates sporadically timed over the next month and while it seemed he must be attracted to me if he was asking me out more, I honestly was not at all sure what he felt.
After going AWOL from the site and my phone line for three months, he did end up calling me again and we proceeded to actually date.
That was twelve years ago and he’s now my husband and the father of my two crazy kids.
He still talks about that handshake like it was the most epic playa’ move ever thrust towards a girl.
I suppose if we are still talking about it, he could be right… but I cannot set that precedence.