Sick n’ Snotty

Dear Usually Very Healthy Child,

If you sneeze into my face one more time, i’m going to put red pepper in your chicken soup!

Ok, not really. But i’m tempted.

Also, pulling out one tissue to wipe the one little clear snot bubble dripping out of your nostril does not kill the entire tissue. You can use 95% of any other part of that tissue! At this point you have emptied a giant family size box, and from now on you pull not-quite-used tissues from the grocery bag and re-wipe.

reduce (my spending on a new box) , reuse, recycle (your snot)

Love and snotty kisses,

I had to take the petri dish out into public this morning for my son’s orthodontist appointment. I’d like to formally apologize for the spraying and spreading of germs. I can only control so many things. As a side note, i am also sorry for the giant fart she ripped in the middle of the lobby. That was totally gross and completely kind of impressive. I saw some of the boys in the waiting room raise their eyebrows in awe. How am I expected to control her bodily functions?!

I give it 2.8 minutes until the cold fully kicks in on my own face. My eyes are red and itchy and i’m not sure how long I can keep chanting “allergies”.

Sick kids are just so adorable! If  I lose track of her in the house today, I can just follow the Spiderman Snot web that she leaves behind.

Here’s hoping we contain the germs somehow.


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