The Cycle

It continues. My husband and I both have been fairly active recently. It’s all relative, right? By “active” I mean I have not been contributing quite as much to the dent in the couch. I have purposely not weighed myself in a while because a- who needs that drama? and b- I didn’t want to stop feeling good

However, if Weight Watchers taught me nothing, it’s that on your lowest days, you’d be surprised what you find on the number screen. You can feel big and giant, and turns out you lost 2lbs.

This was not the case today. Not by a long shot. I was just telling my husband last night that while I haven’t necessarily been careful about what i’m eating, because we’ve been bike riding and working around the house, I truly have felt better in my clothes… marginally. I was hopeful.

This morning I thought I should take a quick peek to make sure I wasn’t going the other direction.

Not only have I been going the other direction, I took a commuter train in the wrong direction and apparently raided the snack trolly.

My exercise and activity bubble has been burst, shredded, and decapitated. Sadly, my first thought after seeing this was, “Oh yea?! I’m still eating at Panera this afternoon!”

Priorities. What the hell is wrong with me ?!! I’ve had the lap band thing in the back of my mind for a few months now. I know it isn’t the answer. I know that my habits and lifestyle are the ultimate determining factor for my body, HOWEVER this body has been carrying around 37 years worth of bad habits and choices. I do not want to get to a point where nothing will be able to change.

I feel like while I am feebly trying right now, it just isn’t enough. Now what? How do I convince my brain and taste buds that a bread bowl filled with yummy creamy soup is a bad idea ?

it isn’t.

yes it is!

no it isn’t.

YES it IZzz!


Playground Feelings

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