Tonight was a lovely end to a good day. Nothing extraordinary, just appreciation for our life, our home, and the good fortune of good neighbors. The local boys all came over for some shooting/looting and all around boy-play with various wheeled vehicles and weapons. Suburban Mad Max. My daughter-the youngest and only girl-was keeping up nicely. She was playing the screaming damsel when needed and most of the time just sitting in the middle of the madness and soaking it all in. At one point she fell over and off her bike. Her brother and the two neighbor boys all came over to help her untangle herself from the wreckage. So sweet! They did, of course, wait the prerequisite seconds to see if she’d scream their eardrums out before approaching. When she didn’t, they were all help and concern. 5 boys, 1 girl and zero actual fights. Utopia!

We headed inside for dinner and afterwards, my oldest started down a quite peculiar road. After relaying all the warfare chaos out front, he asked me how I thought I would die. … …

I did not want to answer. I told him as much. He tried a few more times to get me to throw out some incredible cause of death. I didn’t budge. He went ahead and volunteered a suggestion.

“Mom, i will not let anyone get away with shooting you. I will go after them and shoot them for you.”

He went on to say he would then shoot himself because he couldn’t be without me. He didn’t want me alone in death.

Good lord! This was much too heavy to consider with our Taco Thursday dinner.

Worse yet, my daughter hears where the conversation is heading and starts saying, “Mommy, I dont want you to die.”

My son starts tearing and rubbing his eyes

I’m wondering when the comic strip will begin to lighten up

We have a conversation about death and life and kids living on and parents never being far away, yada yada yada.

I missed the parent-prep day on handling these situations. Specifically when to indulge in an explanation and when to just ride it out and be finished with the temporary train of thought.

It’s not like when he’s 12 he’s going to feel this intensely for anything other than the XBox 87.3.

But this is all happening ‘now’ and i’m a big sucker for all things ‘NOW’. .. perhaps it’s the impending shootout at high noon that makes me feel this way..?

My son has seen a bit of death and loss and pile that on top of being a sensitive and intelligent boy, and it can be random and overwhelming at times. It was all a bit morbid for my taste.

After distracting him with the headache of showering and bedtime, no one peeped any more about my mortality. I turn on the latest DVR’d So You Think You Can Dance and see a story of a boy who was laying beside his mother when he was 4 and she had a heart attack and died in her sleep beside him.

I have googled Lap Band and Garcinia Cambogia now. It’s getting creepy and dark under this roof!

4 thoughts on “Messages

  1. Yikes. We have had our share of death this year, and my poor son has had to deal with it– my dog, one of our cats, my husbands Gram… Its a lot for a 6 year old. Luckily he has the short term memory of a goldfish, and can be redirected with a swish of my wrist.


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