Re-Entry

Back from vacation. Boy, am I! I was expecting to be so enamored with my children when I got back, and I was… for about 24hours. It’s a little – i wont say ‘difficult’ because that’s an asshole thing to say when you’ve been on a kid-free vacation for five days – uncomfortable when you go from being one of 2 people in a small hotel room to one of five people and three pets in a house.

Noise. Demands. Responsibilities. No slot machines lying to you and making false promises.

I am so very amazingly and happily pleased to have left the heat of Las Vegas. That f-ing sucked assballs. We lived in Arizona for nearly five years, so we knew what we were walking into, but once you’ve passed through the gates of hell, it’s not an experience you want to relive.

“But it’s a dry heat!” I don’t know how many times we heard this when we lived there from people who lived in the south, or somewhere that dealt with humidity.

This is true. It is a dry heat. Like a 500 degree pizza oven. And after you receive your first a/c bill in the actual summer, you would very much like to stick your head into an oven and make it all end. It’s not like a/c is optional.

So yes, we are back and trying desperately to get into the swing of things. I’m trying to deal with non-vacation husband. Real Husband. I’d take Bingo husband over back-from-vacation husband.

The problem is actually no one but myself, I know. I know I know I know. But it’s so much more fun to blame the others. I learned this from my children. When they trip or fall, it’s not their fault! It’s the curb’s fault, or the dog’s fault from across the room, and usually my fault for distracting them by telling them to do something. The nerve!

I might be reduced to escaping to the YMCA on Monday just so I can put my kids somewhere safe and nearby, and it’s desperate enough times for me to actually exercise! Holy shit, what is wrong with me?!

6 weeks ’til school starts… just sayin’