So Old

Published August 9, 2014 by sarcasmica

I am so old! I found a non-matching eyebrow hair yesterday while plucking. It was significantly lighter than the others, and until now I have been telling myself it was just a pet hair….stuck down into my skin…. in perfect alignment with the other abundant brow bush dwellers.

The clincher was today, though. I remember when I was but a lass of twenty-one, two, and three I could wake up, get ready, and spontaneously conquer a large activity. Be it Disneyland, the zoo, the beach, Knott’s Scary Farm, whatever. I would own that excursion. Usually in shorts, tank top, and flip flops.

Today, my friends, I am brought screeching into reality of an overweight mother of two in her late thirties. I had the bright idea of taking my mom and kids to Point Defiance Zoo & Aquarium an hour and a half away in 80 degree weather.

I am now post warm bubble bath, in bed, exhausted, sun-touched and ready to go to sleep at 9pm while my sixty-something mom hangs out downstairs watching TV.

O-L-to the-D OLD. And I feel a migraine creeping in the sides of my eyes. However, this means I have to haul my aching back and body down the stairs and creak and crack into the kitchen to take some medicine in addition to the meds i’m already having to take on a daily basis. What’s easier than that? Staying in my soft bed, in my dark room, typing this post on my dimmed down ipad.

On the upside, I made it there without a bathroom stop or pissing myself after having the audacity of drinking coffee before we left. Also, I made it back with both children! No one was tossed into the shark tank like I predicted. Win for mom!

And there is always the reminder that while growing older sucks, it’s far better than the alternative…. cryo sleep. 🙂

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