Epic

Epic lesson in failed forcible parenting today. Forcible parenting being having to continue parenting a child you want to run screaming from.

But no mom fairy is available to fly down and take your place to fix it all. So while your 8 year old is shouting at you and his head is spinning around, you have to just barrel through and hope what you pull out of your hat doesnt make it all internally combust.

Today no matter what I tried and didnt try, everything was a big fat red buzzer ‘X’.

And now I have to figure out how to wake up and start a fresh new day on the heels of an epic battle. Optimism is not my strong suit. Positivity is not my forte. These things were not cornerstones of my upbringing. I’m so sick of seeing ‘Positive thinking is a choice! Choose it!’ crapola all over social media.

It might be a top choice for some, but not all. Would i like to think that way and have my reactions come from even that vicinity? Of course! Was I wired that way? Not even the slightest! So im supposed to somehow rewire my brain ?! It’s right up there with the ‘Dont feed your emotions’ rewire, and the ‘Move your ass 30 minutes/day’ reconfiguration.

I dont know how to set and program a different wiring for my kids when I cant seem to get it right for myself.

This was a rough night for this momma and I really hope the Mommy Fairies at least sprinkle some vodka dust over my freezer since I was left high and dry in the trenches tonight.

A big thanks to my mom who made sure my daughter was put to bed happily amidst the nonsense flying all around the house this evening.

So many red buzzers sounding off in my brain today.