A short list of things my husband missed while away on business and why my husband needs to go Super Wife shopping when he gets back:
1. 3rd Grade started
2. 3 year old started pre school
3. 3 year old turned 4 (birthday gift shopping, cake making, party planning, preschool bday snack prep, wrapping, decorating)
4. 3rd grader continued the weekly Sunday ritual of losing his shit at bedtime
5. Shiny new 4 year old got two shots at the doctor
6. New dog continues to eat the litter-rolled cat turds
7. Me just being awesome
If I knew how to Haiku, I would have. I guess even my awesomeness has limits.
On second thought, this list also works for Why Mommy Needs a Drink(s) and Why the Bank Account Is Empty, Mommy Wants a Business Trip, Too! and Things Single Parents Also Deal With (I know, I know!)
Relating to the last list, the difference is that I have to deal with taking care of the husband’s crap on top of the other things and he’s not even here to nag him to bring me joy.
addendum: kid recently immunized then comes home and pukes multiple times after her brother is sent home from the neighbor’s house for fighting and then proceeds to scream and yell causing her to possibly get kicked in the head.
yes. i need to start drinking.
Sarcasmica 
Why in the actual shit do dogs eat cat poo? It’s like a box full of Hershey kisses to them.
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I know, it’s disgusting! My husband calls them ‘kitty almond rocca’ since its rolled in the cat litter
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Mmmmmmmmmmm! *vomits everywhere*
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