Lobotomy With A Pencil

Published October 7, 2014 by sarcasmica

That’s the new phrase for homework around here. Anyone else in this sinking ship? On the same boat? MAYDAY! MAYDAY! S.O.S. !!!! beep bee beeeee beeeep beeep BEEEEEEEEP (morse code) This ship is going down!

Seriously. Why? Why is it such a fucking torturous painful hair-pulling event? And the fact that it’s daily makes me want to stick pencils in my eyeballs.

My son’s first homework assignment was to copy what his teacher already wrote down. He dictated “The Story of Me” and all he has to do is copy it. COPY IT. NO THOUGHT INVOLVED.

We are now going on 45 minutes to do one simple copying writing paper.

I’m losing my fucking mind.

I helped him lay out his papers. I made sure his pencil was sharpened. I gave him a drink. (i.e. no excuses to get up and restart) All he has to do is COPY WHAT’S ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN.

Forty-five minutes. And he’s only 2/3 finished.


The parent teacher conference was today. I appreciate all the extra work he causes for his teachers, I do. Really. Especially after sitting through homework day in and day out. However, his teacher asked me if I had yet thought about an outside school support service like Kumon.

Really?! My kid already gets an hour EACH of occupational therapy and physical therapy once a week on top of the measly 30 minutes of services he gets at school. Because of this there is zero homework time on Mondays. Now we are supposed to look into giving away even more money for someone else to sit and pull their hair out with him?

This was not on the hospital paperwork, man. Labor; check. Drugs; check. Episiotomy; check. Plagiocephaly; check. Circumcision; check. Anxiety; check. Homework pain;  _____ (crickets) Sensory issues; _____. Colic; _____. Teacher meetings; _____.

Obligatory disclaimer (to be read in a monotone non-emotional speed talk): Not that this would have changed my outcome of having my amazingly wonderful child, of course. … perhaps…. possibly…

I’m going to be bald by the time I hit 40 if homework continues to go this way. Just to change it all up and make it exciting, he has a report due on Abraham Lincoln. An actual report. Research and follow through. Drafts and outlines.

(55 minutes and still not complete, btw)

If I hadn’t mentioned it yet; SHOOT ME!

I pray that my daughter is an effortless genius when it comes to school because I will be a wrung out rag of a parent by the time we are looking at multiplication tables. It’ll look more like a gurney … on the way to the psych hospital.



10 comments on “Lobotomy With A Pencil

      • So forgive this completely idiotic question, but did you try again to “Follow by Email” on my about page? I just checked and saw that option is there on the right… but i don’t know if it’s visible to everyone else


      • I did– just after I sent my last comment. It told me I wasn’t following you anymore, even though I BLATANTLY was following you. So I hit the button again.
        I think this is why you’re having problems getting or maintaining followers– for some reason your posts aren’t getting to the people who want to see them. If it works out that I’m back in the loop since I hit the button again, that means anyone else who was following you by email was lost when you made the switch to the new theme. I think.


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