Ice Queens & Tuberculosis

Published January 17, 2015 by sarcasmica

I took my daughter to a birthday party today. (Saturday)

*mic drop*

Just kidding *picks mic up elegantly*

It was a Princess party. Our first. All the kids had the option of arriving in their own princess dresses.

Oddly, I saw no boys from my daughter’s predominantly boy class there. I guess they don’t appreciate a nice bodice cut or puffy sleeves like their 4/5 yr old counterparts.

Anyway, my kid has been sick with her croup cough for almost a full week now. Admittedly its been far less traumatic than the November bout. She’s not been coughing through the night as of 2 nights ago but still does during the day.

So she’s been back to school just one day before this party today. We arrive, we make a tiara, we smack balloons around. I try to make polite conversation with strangers while my kid runs around their home. I notice the women wearing their very pink and brand new babies and try to steer my very own ‘Patient Zero’ (as her dad so affectionately calls her) clear of them.

Then the stars arrive! The actual real Anna and Elsa are at this party! Anna must have had an accident at some point because she’s missing a tooth, and due to the stress of the incident, Elsa has gained some weight. No one told her dress, though.

It appears they had a run in with a make up delivery truck between Arrendelle and Washington also because, Damn!

There were stories, there were “warm hugs” and pin the nose on Olaf. Elsa even did some face painting. I guess that was the other craft she honed locked away in her room for ten years.

My daughter had a great time. “Snow much fun” as “Mac Elsa” actually said.

Then the real coughing began. Parents were asking if my kid was ok. … to which i never know how to respond to. “No, but whats a little tuberculosis spread around, eh?” or “Yes. Turning red from coughing is just her party trick.” She likes to get herself to the brink of puking and then pull back. She’s a 4 year old thrill junkie.

Elsa must’ve got the memo from the other Princesses at Disneyland that my kid likes vomiting in the presence of royalty because she had her lip curled and one foot ready to bolt anytime my kid came near her for the rest of the night.

Truthfully she was not contagious, it’s just a terrible sounding lingering cough. She’s getting over croup, for godsakes!

I did feel bad, but what do i do, have her miss the party even though she wasnt sick? I feel like when parents ask, “Is she ok?!” They are really saying, “Let me get your keys for you, crazy parent, take your sick kid home!”

So we stayed just until we could both inhale some chocolate cake and left before the fork hit the plate.

I don’t think Anna minded, but that may have just been the meth talking.

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