I have a condition that is terminal. I have written about this before. It can be tragic, but mostly it’s just embarrassing.
Diarrhea of the mouth is a real thing. It’s out there. People live with this impediment daily and can do nothing to stop it. While Imodium AD is taken orally, it simply will not cure this specific area of discomfort and inconvenience.
Just when you think you’ve conquered it and figured out how to live with it, it rears it’s ugly head. Out of nowhere. There is nothing you can do to prevent it.
In fact, as recently as today I was blindsided by the monster. Speaking to a new parent at my daughter’s gymnastics class I found myself spewing information I could simply not hold back. The tell tale signs were there. The zombie-esque replies of “oooooh.” and “uh huh” followed by an uncomfortable lack of conversation.
And that doesn’t put a cork in it for you, either. You mindlessly continue on rambling about godknows what to the reaction on the face of the victim that clearly states; “TMI, dude, TMI!”
Only after you walk away from the conversation do the echoes of your topics play through your head. When you are in the moment all you can think about is another connecting sentence to the one you just uttered. The information and words just flow from your face like lava on an island.
The only thing you can do is interject random, “So what about you?”s into the conversation. The one-sided conversation.
Please donate your prayers and thoughts to the cause: Lonely mothers desperate to find friends. Women who realize all too late a filter should have been put in place. The Information Filter. I think it might consist of the following questions to ask in case of possible deployment:
1. Would you throw this information at your grocery checker?
2. Does this information contain details about your family that is not common topic during holidays?
3. Do you know the last name of the person you are speaking to?
4. Are you getting any follow up questions?
5. Is the recipient of your word assault looking for an escape?
There is hope ….. I think…..
4 thoughts on “Conditions”
We should start a support group.
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Yikes! Been there before. Usually I’m drunk though. They need a warning on booze, “MAY INDUCE OVER SHARING. HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT MY RASH?”
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I totally wrote a post about this, Goat Brothels on Kosher Avenue.