Back n Crack

If you have back probs, you might relate to this, if not, i’ll try not to hold it against you out of sheer jealousy.

After 2 visits to my new adventures in Chripracting, I am feeling amazingly better. Fantastically lovely. It has not completely changed my life, but it definitely has made a difference in my every single day life.

Keeping in mind our mattress is overdue for replacement, here’s what i’ve found:

Before crackin’ up:
Get out of bed and shuffle across the carpet slowly with my body at an odd angle to not incite further pain all the while holding my back with my hands – as if that makes any difference? Once I make it to the toilet, hopefully without peeing all over myself, I have to bend vertically straight down while bending at the knees (simultaneously holding my bladder) to be able to reach the toilet lid and lift it, all the while cursing my husband for his need to close each and every toilet seat lid. Then I have to sit and pee at an angle that does not tweak my back, so i’m lopsided while doing my business. I wont even get started on the worst mornings and having to wipe. We are not friends like that. (You’re welcome)  Then I have to make it up, staggering, hands against my lower back as I shuffle to the sink to wash and brush my teeth. Reaching across the sink and down into the sink looks similar to the vertical bend down from the knees while trying to keep my back in the hairline angle that doesn’t set off a spasm.

It’s great fun.

After 2 visits to the chiropractor:
Get out of bed gingerly and stand up. Wait for invisible shoe to drop and reset all the pain …. take the first step and realize I can take the next without having to shuffle.
Breath a sigh of relief.
Reach the toilet lid, bend like a human being and not a stick-operated puppet.
Sit down without twists and turns. Do business without pain and spasms.
(skip TMI part)

Walk to the sink with a relaxed body that is not tense from shooting pains and throbbing aches.
Brush teeth and allow a smile as I realize i’m not starting the day with half of my body contorted in pain.

And the best thing: I can bend down to put on undies, pants, socks, it’s boundless !!

I went to dinner with my husband last Friday and sat in a wooden straight-backed booth. I was reveling in the fact my lower back was not twinging and sparking pain as we scarfed down dinner, with me shifting and sucking air through my teeth as I try to find a comfortable position. I was telling him about my (then) first visit to the crack Doc and my husband said to me, “Are you sure it’s not just in your head?”

ha.  hahaha   hahahahahaaaaa

Yes. I’m sure the pain that radiates at different levels in my back throughout the day being alleviated – no matter how briefly – therefor allowing me to move freely and move and play with my dogs, my kids, my self, is not in fact in my head. .. but it is beginning to move down to my ass !

(see what I did there? … pain in the ass … husband …. pains in the rear!)

Over the weekend, my back began to hurt a little, but this is quite possibly attributed to the springs that are now sticking out of my mattress and into my lower back all night.

Guess who’s movin’ to the middle of the bed?! This pain in the ass.


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