Pre-Life Life

Published October 13, 2015 by sarcasmica

As moms sometimes we forget there was a whole other life before children, or BC. Alternatively, maybe you havent forgotten, but it seems everyone else has.

I think the latter is more often true.. and how sad! I am a stay at home mom and it is so easy not to talk about the disjointed time of BC. Why dwell? Especially if you havent plan if/when you will go back. My husband always speaks of it as if it’s some readily accessible portal sitting in the garage. “You know, when you go back to being an interpreter.”

As if I pop through and on the other end is a classroom with an eager child awaiting his professional who is equipped with 100% of her language skills. Not a single sign forgotten. 

Not. Reality.

Well today my son shocked me. That kid will be a professional pitcher when he grows up with all the curve balls he throws. He said something about a classroom, and I said “Thats how it was in my classroom.”

“Huh? I didnt know you worked in a classroom.”

Why? Because I was born an adult with 2 children and zero life experience? That, my love, is a robot, not a mom.

“Yes. I worked in lots of classrooms. I had all kinds of hearing impaired students and got to work in different grades even!”

His mind exploded right there in the backseat. 

Have I failed in explaining to him that I did exist before him? Even before his dad?!

Nope. I know I said it, but as we all know just because you say it does not mean they are listening. 

“What else did you do?”

“Well, I was a receptionist for a dog hotel where the owner liked to charge people for putting their dogs in runs, but she really had them in crates. I did not like that she lied to the clients, so I confronted her and she fired me.”

Wide eyes watched me in the mirror.

“I was also a bird specialist for Petco. I was in charge of all the birds-which was actually a lot back then. There were parrots then which was kind of sad knowing what we know now.”

Disbelief.

“I also once had a job as a note-taker for blind students in community college.”

It was like an alien was driving him to school. 

So instead of preparing the nursery with cute giraffes and ladybugs, I think we need to wallpaper the kid’s rooms with resumes, diplomas, and pictures of what we were BC. Let me tell you kid, if it werent for the lessons I learned from aaaall those jobs, i would have never made it past night #4 with you.

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