Hating Dating

Published November 9, 2015 by sarcasmica

On Mondays the morning radio show I listen to has something called “The Loser Line”. If you text into a number, the station will send you a phone number to give out to those people who are hounding you for your digits. People you would not go on a date with if the zombie apocalypse was over and you and (s)he were the last humans remaining.

When they call the number, they leave messages that run the gamut from fairly normal to downright Douche Bag and/or Serial Killer potential.

Listening to today’s show solidified my thought that dating just sucks. I hope to never be back to that reality ever. You always wonder why people stay in certain relationships, it’s because they don’t want to have to go back to dating!

The anxiety of wondering if this person you like is even going to ask you out, the stress of picking the right outfit for the first date. Remaining calm and cool despite the venue he takes you for said date. Trying not to think about whether or not there is food in your teeth or , God forbid, having to tell him he does. That awkward first date wrap up. The excitement or sickness you feel wondering if he’s going to go in for the post date kiss.

No thanks. Was never a fan. I sucked at dating, though. I never really even would get asked out. If it wasn’t for the internet, I’d still be single. I was always the looming large friend. The one that made sure losers weren’t hitting on her friends. I naturally have a ‘dont mess with me’ type face. Not my fault, just a product of my parents. I always gave off either the unapproachable ice queen, or goofy friend vibe. Kind of a wide gap there, but what can I say … i’m multi-faceted.

I feel sorry for daters now. All the extra social media can only make it more complicated and frustrating. It must only add more rules and pitfalls. As if there aren’t enough to begin with!

So given the option of being single forever or having to date again, just buy me a few cats and be done with it!

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