Lazy Bones

Published November 23, 2015 by sarcasmica

I admit it. I’m lazy. I’m overweight, under energized, under organized and lazy.

Since working out with a trainer in August, however, something has finally kicked in. Well, her foot has kicked in my butt, however that’s not my point. We have had many a project go undone on this house simply because thinking about the effort that goes into all the details overwhelms me and I don’t even begin.

The kids toys, for one. This is just a running joke. They are literally taking over our house… and our house is not small. We have lived in some small places, this is currently not one of them.

My children have never ever ever enjoyed playing in their rooms. I suppose it’s because 98% of their toys are in a play room or living area where all the action with the grown ups happens. I have had it. The legos, the Little People Princesses, the Minecraft figures, the action figures, the legos, the legos, and finally …. the stuffed animals.

My daughter seems to be training to run a global sanctuary because she’s got enough animals to populate one. Insult to injury, she has a mental roster of all individual pets. Hell fire will rain down upon your head if you so much as mention getting rid of one little being. I’ve had to lie and formulate a plan to have a ‘holding area’ in the garage for all the overflow. (sidenote: this has proven an unexpected smart move because once in a while, I will let them trade ‘in-house toys’ for ‘in-garage toys’ at the rate of 2, 4, or even 5 for 1 garage toy. And whenever they do this, it’s like giving them a new toy. It entertains them for hours. Brilliant!)

We have had a few garage sales in their life times and they know when summer rolls around, everyone is in danger of sitting on the curb…. everyone. When my daughter gets a new toy – I know, right? Who the hell keeps buying toys when our lives are threatened daily by drowning in f$#king toys?! – her first sentence is always, “Mom, i’m never gonna sell this, okay? OKAaaaaaaaAAY-uh?!”

“Sure, ok.”

Wow.. that was a tangent. So this past weekend we began the overhaul of toy placement. The toys are heading to the bedrooms, and the living spaces will NOT be mini daycare centers for the kids.

The other disgusting, much-avoided chore i’ve been putting off is scraping. Our master bath window has some sort of oozing STD. When we had the house checked for mold, the inspector took a look at this window and just shook his head. It appears the sealant/caulking substance that holds the window in place – which is black – has been oooooozing out and onto and down the pane. It’s lovely. Little mold spores were growing on the sticky rubbery ooze. The window was partially covered with some rinky dink shutters that do not move. So tonight I spent over an hour scraping, cleaning, gagging, and removing as much of the ooze as I could. I feel like I have orangutan arms. That’s gotta count for some kind of exercise, right?!?!

My original point was that since working out, while i’m still cardio-challenged, I have picked up the pace on getting shit done around the house. It’s not weight loss or a fitness goal, persay, but it’s a step in the right direction! And at this point any step is being counted by me and my fitbit.

Now i’m gonna catch up on sitting on the couch time.

 

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