Breakthroughs

Published December 6, 2015 by sarcasmica

I decided to record this because there are few times I can point to a specific happening and declare, “That was a proud moment as a mom. I did something pretty damn cool.”

I’ve already said we’ve all been living in a frustration bubble lately. Today, after my son freaks out over video games I had HAD IT. Completely. It was ended with a “Get your butt to your room NOW!”

After I reattached my head and turned my brain back on, I decided to go have a chat with him. Something is obviously bothering him.

(Something I learned from a positive parenting course I took two long long years ago.)

The number 1 lesson learned by me was to just talk to your kids. There aren’t any secrets to being a parent. It’s good for them to know it’s hard sometimes. It’s good for them to know I get mad, frustrated, happy, sad, etc.

Anyway, I sat down with him, both of us frustrated, both of us wanting to be heard at the same time. I had to leave once because he wasn’t making an effort that was proactive. But we worked it out.

“Something is obviously going on with you, because I know these actions are not what you want to be doing. Are you feeling good when {this } happens?”

(insert a lot of “I don’t knoooooooow!” and “I just aaaaaaaaam!”)

After very little probing, we figured out a-he’s sad his dad is traveling right now & b-he is dreading a biography report where the kids have to do a speech in front of the class.

Ta Daaaaaa!

Something I knew was looming, and knew he was not happy about, but had no idea it was festering like it was.

Are there other things he’s mad about? Probably. Did we identify every thing that is causing him grief? Probably not. Did I get the big 2? Absolutely.

We worked out a plan for ending video game time. He came up with a surprisingly astute recommendation for himself. “Maybe I can get a snack, mom. Sometimes I don’t realize i’m hungry until i’m already angry.”  Awesome!

We worked some stuff out, it took a good 45 minutes to do it, but we both felt better, and I haven’t had to yell or cuss yet.

The icing on the parent cake was having to help him with a biography report. It was painful. It was hard. It was headache-inducing for me, but we got through what we needed to do tonight.

For that, I am thankful and relieved. My husband was texting me from his solo dinner and hotel room the whole time NOT helping me at all. I told him if he really wanted to help, he’d send a bouquet of alcohol and a bartender to make it pretty.

And now back to your regularly scheduled chaos…

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