I have a struggle that is invisible. It isnt tragic. It isnt a requirement or necessity. It isnt big, flashy, or important. It’s just teeth. 



This struggle seems childish and impertinent at best even to myself, but there you have it. I’m feeling overwhelmed, angry and bitter that I even have to deal with this! 

I have written here and there about it. I have 7 baby teeth still. Seven. I am not supposed to have them, obviously, but I do. Moreso, they are primarily all up front and visible. 

Are you snoring yet? How is this at all interesting? It isn’t! That is part of the problem. Who the hell has had to deal with this?! 

These teeth have started retiring on me. Quitting. A few are determined to go out gloriously. One is doing something called reabsorption. My gum has actually decided “I’ve had it with your shit, baby tooth! You don’t belong here, imma sizzle your ass into oblivion my damn self!”and is evicting it by disintigrating it. Another one is hanging on mostly by plaque at this point. My dental team-that’s right, this shit requires a team for my mouth-doesnt really know how it is still in my head. I personally think it’s trying to win a bet. Possibly even trying to kill me in my sleep when it could fall out and choke me. “Death By Tooth …Baby Tooth”

Another one has totally hijacked the placement of an actual permanent tooth- the minority. It has taken over the spot besde my front tooth and just staged a sit in. “F-k you, incisor! Who says you get to be up front?! I was here first, asshole.” 

Basically I picture my first teeth as malcontent disrespectful little shits giving the finger to the proper grown up preferred teeth who are just trying to do their job and wondering, “By the way..where are all the grown ups?”

So where is the struggle? I have to take control of the rapidly declining situation. One cannot walk into a place of dental business and request to be patched up. Nope! I have to tak to an Orthodontist about a plan, he has to agree with the dentist about the plan, and they both get to recommend shit gets done by party 3 and possibly also 4 because no one cross-degrees for effectiveness in dental school.

All different professionals, all in different geographic locations, none of which will work physically together at any given time.

Over. Whelming.

Add to that never having to get a root canal or wisdom tooth pulled and i’m freaking out a bit. A lot. Fairly often.

Problem #1 Having to pull teeth, choosing which ones to pull and when. Some of which are still functioning, but wont be for too much longer based on lack of any root structure

Prob #2 None are straight. All involved in my overbite

Prob #3 How not to look like somebody’s mother-neice-cousin showing up for a family picnic. I am going to have gaps aplenty! Giant spaces in prime grin real estate

Prob #3 What to fill spaces with; attempt to pull molars forward to fill in space and lessen the implant bill, or leave alone and fill with a partial bridge? 

Prob #4 Freak out. Adult braces? Dental bridge?! Toothless?! 

Prob #5 Try not to act out with violence when husband behaves insensitively and fixates on the cost of it all. Afterall, knocking his teeth out will only shift the focus off of you and add to the overall cost (because you KNOW if it were his mouth/teeth/smile being effected only the best would be insisted upon)

Prob #5 realizing you need a project manager to keep track of the scheduling and planning of rearranging your mouth

Prob #6 No one is going to givr a rats ass about it. No one cares about your stupid teeth! (Unless they have to be in a photo with you)

So that’s what has my knickers in a twist lately. Teeth. Having to finally step up to the plate and make decisions about something the Tooth Fairy was supposed to handle 30 years ago. 

I am expecting a large deposit based solely on the interest these puppies have earned, Tooth Fairy. I better because I have to pay for this mess somehow! 

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