I had to document this moment. Today was the “Meet the Teacher” day at my kids’ school. This is the first year my son has to share this moment with his sister. She is now a kindergartner. We went to her room first to make the appropriate fuss, and he refused to be seen anywhere near a desk in that room. Mr. Cool stood near the entrance waiting almost patiently for us to be done and move along.
After we do the whole rigamaroll of supply drop off, teacher meeting, name filling out, paperwork drop off the kids all go to the playground for ice cream and chaos. On the walk out of school my son will just not stop the negative talk at his sister about all the things she doesn’t yet know. Rules she wont understand. He named a specific teacher and how strict she is and lots and lots of talk about how his sister is going to not do very well because she doesn’t know how to do anything that will be expected.
After hearing this go on for what seemed days – but in “summer time zone” is actually a span of 10 minutes – I had a moment of wanting to just blow up at him how negative and belligerent he was being. Cut her some slack, man! Divine intervention allowed a moment’s hesitation and a thought occurred to me at that moment.
me: “you are being very negative and I’m wondering where this is coming from… how are you doing with the fact your sister is going to be attending ‘your’ school? How do you feel about that?”
him: “I’m proud of her and I’m happy she’ll be there.”
and that’s when this momma’s heart grew 2 sizes
What he can’t seem to articulate is “Hey sis, I know it’s going to be big and new and scary and different but just know that I’ve already been through it all and I want to help you. I can’t be the one to watch out for you, so I’m going to tell you all of the things you might have trouble with now before it begins.”
The way that translates from his mouth to our ears sounds like negative assumptions and thoughts, but it’s actually coming from a place of love and encouragement. He’s used to being the buffer for her between safety and the outside world. She’s going to be geographically in the same place as him, but he’ll have no tie to her from his classroom and he wont be able to check on her. For a controlling exacting personality like his this must be a little worrisome. Plus, there’s always the likelihood she’s going to make a ton of friends and have stories that don’t include her big brother.
Right now I have six more days of bickering and infighting. I’m running low on holy water and patience, but the light is there and I feel like I just might make it now that I know I’ve done something right with this child.