Hats and Labels

I’m almost 40. I’m not excited about this but hey, as they say: “It’s better than the alternative.”

I feel like i’m entering a new era – just because i like to be cliche – with my daughter now beginning full time school. Both kids at school all day?! YES! Better than day drinking!

Anyway, so i’ve been exploring some alternate universes with the whole volunteering thing which has led me to the whole photography thing. I’ve really enjoyed taking pictures and lugging the big awkward camera bag around in the unlikely event I’ll use my 50mm wide angle lens. I’d really like to better understand what i’m doing with it so i’ve looked into photography class at the “local” community college. Unfortunately I only have “butt crack of dawn” early, or “conflicts with any extra curriculars” late. This has not deterred me.

This summer was a record for my husband and I with following through with an activity. Last summer we camped twice, this summer we actually were consistent and went ahead and camped again. Once. We went two months after the car accident and the cot/air mattress trade off was murder on my back. It was horrible. I slept more and better with a newborn just home from the hospital. We also concluded that tent camping experience with breaking it all down in the rain wasn’t our favorite thing to do. We did have a great time prior to the deluge.

This discussion led us to considering an RV. This was one time “we aren’t getting any younger or thinner” worked to our advantage. Our expensive advantage. We started checking out RV dealers on our way home from that very trip. Like, my daughter and I were literally still in our pajamas. I had scary, frightening 3rd day of camping hair and we all had the day after beach sunburn. We were a sight. We looked like we were looking for upgrading our cardboard box rather than a luxury camping option. (see above: breaking down camp in the rain)

For the last month we’ve been tossing the idea around, researching, arguing amongst the voices in our own heads whether it is a good idea or not. Was summer really a good time to buy an RV? Should we wait until winter? Will there be enough space, will we feel comfortable driving it? And most importantly, is my husband willing to fully take on the “shitty” job of manning the waste line 100% of the time? Because that ship has sailed for me. I had 4D shit show experience aplenty between the two kids. At least this crap is contained within a hose, right? I refuse.

Also, it’s just seems like an obscene luxury. How can we justify buying an RV when we can barely (and by “barely” I mean not at all) maintain our actual house?! How can we commit to this rig when my husband can’t even bring himself to take the trash out? And me, how am I going to maintain any level of cleanliness in the tiny space when my hardwood floors are beginning to look more like forest floors? Are we really going to park an RV on the driveway that borders a yard that is beginning to resemble “naturalscape”?

Well it appears the answer to all of this is YES. Yes we are. Because we can. Because it’s our choice to be inconsistent home maintainers. There’s a reason we chose a neighborhood with no HOA. “Free the weeds!” we say. I have a turquoise front DOOR for crapsakes.

So if everything goes as planned, this week we will own a new RV. We are going to be campers. I’m going to be a roving photographer.

New adventures. They are intimidating and scary and nerve-wracking and you never really know if you’re supposed to be doing it, but I have found it’s been harder to allow myself the permission to do what we want. It’s going to ultimately bring the family closer – literally – so how is that going to end badly? (she said at the end of summer with 50% more grey hair and 40% less hair on her head from pulling it out)

Why is it so hard to let yourself have a little freedom and self-exploration as you age? I am grateful for the opportunities I have to find these things out about myself and our family. Adventure Chapter 40 soon to come!!

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