All posts for the month November, 2016

Good Enough

Published November 21, 2016 by sarcasmica

It’s that magical time of year again for the new IEP. (Individualized Education Program)

We’ve had multiple meetings every year for five years now – not including all the nightmare meetings during preschool and kindergarten- and I still dread them. I still loathe them. I’ve gotten better at managing my eye rolls and sighs, but it’s about as fun as a cavity.

I’m comfortable in my status quo, introverted, head-in-the-sand demeanor so sitting in front of a panel of experts regarding education and how to apply it to my ADHD/Dyspraxia kid is uncomfortable to say the least. Discussing his goals and expectations for his upcoming year is just not my idea of constructive conversation. Just do what teachers are supposed to do. Educate him. Is your classroom environment not working? Change scenery. Use your degrees and certifications to find a way to assimilate him into a regular 5th grade classroom. Done.

It’s gotten better, admittedly. Since putting him on Concerta his scores and ability in the classroom has exploded much to all of our amazement. Reading through his assessments right now still stings a bit. I’m not in tears like I used to be, so that’s something.

Sitting here waiting to go to this meeting is a bit like waiting to see the principal. To top it off, there are three new people working with him so we get to all sit and behave like professional adults…. not my forte.

So deep breath, swig of caffeine, and a bite of chocolate; me and my big girl pants are headed out to defend the educational rights of my child one more time.



Published November 18, 2016 by sarcasmica

My 6 year old finally asked for a pet. It was bound to happen. I didn’t want to say yes, but frankly I couldn’t think of a compelling reason to say no. She didn’t ask for a snake or a frog, she wanted a hamster.

Well, truthfully, she just wanted something that would fit in a ball. A ball that would roll around on the floor.

We researched rodents of all sizes. (But not rodents of unusual size) Personally, I have experience with rats. My brothers and I all had various rodents when we were kids. Mostly rats. I had a mouse once named Mary. Mice stink. They are cute, but they pee their weight every few minutes. They’re also twitchy and sort of like small meth heads. Always running to the next score, hiding snacks, licking themselves constantly. Nope, rats are way cleaner, way smarter, and just cooler. Pot head vs. Meth head, who are you gonna want to hang with?

The recommendation for rats these days is you get a pair to keep them stimulated and warm and happy and not lonely. Apparently they can waste away from loneliness and boredom. The thought of two didn’t turn me off necessarily, the thought of my six year old wrangling two and the size of the cage we would need is what made me reconsider. My cat certainly would have zero trouble offering to help find any wayward rodent.

We went to a few different pet stores to figure out what wouldn’t take a finger, and what my daughter couldn’t accidentally Hulk out of it’s spine. The Black Bear hamster won our hearts. Supposedly great personalities, rarely bite if handled often and well, and best on their own. A solo commitment. I’m in!

We were cruel and all sorts of evil by getting the habitat two weeks early. We wanted to be sure there were no cracks, we could fit it reasonably into her room somewhere and she didn’t wake up in the middle of the night freaking out about a square wire cube trying to eat her face.

Today was the day! Hamster Day!

We drove down and perused the available rodents. My daughter already had a name picked out for her dude – we had decided a boy would be best despite the bag of marbles they carry around under their tail – but this day offered a new option. Black bear hamsters that had white markings. As she was sitting on the floor with the aquarium searching for her new buddy, two of the critters began cirque du soliel acrobatics to try and escape. Of course she pointed to one and said, “That one!”

“Really? The acrobat? I don’t know if that’s a good idea..”

“I like that one, mommy!”

I stuck my hand into the aquarium for the nibble test. Mind you, I never had hamsters. I was always told “they bite. get a rat.” and this rang true when I was a Petco employee. I tried to squelch the nerves knowing full well if one of these effers bit me in front of my daughter I’d have to mask my fury and frustration. One of the two acrobats decided to taste my finger. .. multiple times. Truthfully it wasn’t malevolent or evil. No skin was broken, but I wasn’t about to pay $16.99 for something that started right off the bat with the teeth. I said, “Let’s get the sniffer, not the taster.” It took nothing more than that and we were locked and loaded for a new adventure. Once imagined “Surfer Dave” was now “Oreo”.

The adventure began the minute he was in the box. Brilliant idea! Let’s put the chew happy rodents in construction paper thin cardboard boxes for small children to travel home in a moving car with!! It’ll be great!!

We were halfway home when my daughter began screaming “His head is coming out!! He’s getting oooooutt!!!” Mind you, we were about a mile from where we had our car accident six months ago and I did not want a furry repeat. I calmly took the box and drove with it. I could concentrate much better on driving when I knew where and what the little bugger was doing rather than having to turn around and look at what was really happening.

By the way, “He’s getting out!” was not a false alarm. He had chewed through the side and was alternating poking his nose out with reaching out his little paw.

These are the sorts of driving hazards you need to practice when you’re taking drivers training, by the way. Those instructors need to have a box of randomness that pops out at you in varying moments.

Cup with a loose lid
Hot coffee without a sleeve
Wildly uncooperative hamburger wrapper
Drippy mustard hot dog
Terrified baby hamster in a cardboard box
Toddler screaming for goldfish
Baby screaming for a bottle – but you are given bottle/nipple/formula/water in separate intervals

We got home 1/4 millimeter in time. One more red light and that hamster would have been under my seat.

So far  it has all gone smoothly except not counting on the hamster wheel to sound like a great dane running on plastic skates. I warned my daughter this was a nocturnal animal who was likely going to be very active considering the circus performance he put on for us at the pet store. He is quite curious and tenacious, but hot damn does he love that frigging wheel!

My daughter said, “It’s ok mom. I’ll try my best to sleep. If you see big bags under my eyes in the morning, it just means maybe we should get a different wheel.”


Happy hamstering!!

(as a side note, i DID actually scour the local animal shelter and found only hamsters with “No Children” warnings available. I also went one step further and contacted a not-so-local rodent rescue and reached out to them to no avail)



Trying To Accept It

Published November 9, 2016 by sarcasmica

I’m trying to accept our country’s new reality. I still don’t understand it. I absolutely do not understand how this person was voted by the people to represent our country and have our best interests at heart for all decisions. Decisions that will resonate long after he is no longer in office.

I will say plainly that I am not a political person. I did not even begin to vote until my late 20’s. I’m now 40. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand why it was so important and on a literal level, I didn’t know how to do it. Plain and simple. Are these excuses? No. I’m not proud of it, but that’s that.

I have watched this debacle of an election process this term and from start to finish I have been completely dumbfounded. Not unlike a lot of other people, I am certain.

Here’s the basics for me. I liked some of what Bernie Sanders said, I liked some of what Hillary Clinton said, and I even liked some of what Donald Trump said. They each had good ideas and plans. It made me nervous that Sanders wanted to start providing all sorts of services and choices for people but the fact he never said how made me assume taxes would be the source.

The idea of a woman president was exciting. Was she the best I could ever imagine running for the job? No. But I didn’t see any other woman stepping up and taking on that challenge. I didn’t see any suggestions or offerings for who would be a better candidate either. Her experience made me feel like she was qualified and understood the bigger picture about what she could do. She seemed entirely able to weigh our international consequences for immediate change. Who else has served that many roles for government and wanted to continue and stick it out and stay with it? Man or woman? Again, I have other interests than politics so I am very ignorant when it comes to who’s who and deeper trivia.

I do not buy into conspiracy theories. I do not hold accusations and speculation and bitter hate up on a pedestal to influence my vote for President of the United States of America. Call me a sheep, that’s fine. I have not seen solid hard evidence that the paranoia surrounding Clinton was ever validated. What has made her such a hated villain? Somebody please tell me factual real evidence that she has participated in or caused such vile human atrocities that would deem her incapable of running our country given the professional career she has. Please.

The only word that sticks to her is “emails” and “Benghazi”. I’d love to know what this actually means. She has had to made decisions that I have no doubt any mortal could not stomach. Decisions that have consequences the civilian population have no business knowing or understanding. What does the general public know about her choices and actions that would result in the categorical refusal to accept her as a qualified politician to be our President?

Now we turn to our President-Elect, Mr. Trump. There are not conspiracy theories about this person because he puts his hate out for all to consume. There is no sticky political agenda he is accused of because he’s kept himself quite comfortable in the private sector making money off of Americans left and right and proudly announcing that he has not contributed his legal obligation to pay taxes on what he’s amassed. Does he respect America? I can’t see how when he has not hidden that materials used to entertain, house, and capitalize on Americans are not acquired in America! Where has this devout bleeding stars patriot been all our lives?

The people who looked at a presidential ballot and decided to fill in the Trump bubble are people that I do not at all understand…. and I do want to. I don’t want to debate, I don’t want to propagate more anger and hate, I just want to sincerely understand. Where did the government go so wrong that we elect someone with ZERO professional government experience to run the entire country? Where did Hillary Clinton go so wrong that voting for Trump – zero experience, was leaps and bounds more palatable than voting for a professional?

My husband and I have talked extensively about how we totally agree that Trump’s business sense would be an asset to the country. He would make a fantastic advisor or cabinet member in so far as trade input or contract negotiation or business taxes. He would be a great asset to this country on how to put business sense back into government. That’s about where the support and acquiescence goes for me, personally. Just because he can make a billion dollars does not at all mean I want him having a hand in naming Supreme Court Justices who will carry out laws and repeal laws for the next DECADE plus that would set our country and civil rights back generations. I find that when you meet someone who is great at making a buck, you don’t want to look too closely at what morals and ethics come into play in setting up their hierarchy of priorities.

I have seen and heard a lot of garbage about how her staying with her husband is permissible in making judgements based on her professional ability.

I hate a double standard. I do. If we are judging her for staying with a cheater, why are we not judging a cheater? Why are we not judging Trump for NOT staying with multiple wives with multiple children? Why are we not judging Trump for his wives’ professional choices? Afterall, it’s general consensus that when Bill Clinton was President, his wife was actually the President, right? So it’s ok to judge her based on his job.

NO! no No and NO. They are separate. If we judge Hillary Clinton on Bill Clinton’s policies, then we better start digging into Ivana Trump’s jobs and Milania’s long list of professional decisions. (see: Sarcasm Font)

Double Standards, conspiracy theories, and paranoia aside, please someone enlighten me on where “Crooked Hillary” would have made a worse President than someone who has said very plainly that he wants to elect a Justice who would repeal a woman’s right to make choices about her own body. How is he more qualified than a woman to even begin to comprehend what that means? Please leave the bullshit answer about abortions used as birth control out of it. That is ridiculous hyperbole and exaggeration of the vast majority of reasons women make that awful decision. I do not support abortion, I support women knowing enough about their situation to make a decision for their own life and family and reality.

How about we start poking around colleges and get the government involved in a man’s right to date rape? How about we start listing Frat Parties on the regulation list because drunk guys are clearly unable to make a decision for themselves.

Here’s a newsflash in case you didn’t pay attention in Health. The small percentage of girls who get an abortion as “birth control” actually had a guy put the semen in her to create that life.

Did I just blow your mind? Did you understand that a man was actually involved in the creation of that life you Pro Lifers seem to think is your business? Why does the government stop their nosing in and regulation of life at the vagina? Keep on going, let’s make it a mass control, follow the life you are protecting down to the penis that was 50% responsible for creating it!

And on that note, let’s take count of all the responsible devout republicans who are avid Pro Lifers and refuse to let women decide what to do with these fetuses. How many are loving, moral foster parents for the children who were born into a situation that couldn’t be handled and were then turned over to an orphanage? How many children who were unwanted have been adopted by these morally rock solid Pro Lifers?

Don’t even get me started on the gun nonsense. That’s a whole other post/blog/chapter/novel.

So here we go into uncharted territory with a professional money maker. Someone who has left his own family repeatedly and has no issue evading taxes, going bankrupt and threatening immigrants is about to make decisions and laws for the general public. I wonder if he understands the “general” part of public. Our nation is made up of immigrants! The only difference is generational. I sincerely hope he holds true to creating jobs and money and wealth for everyone in this country who is willing to go get it. It seems the country has chosen to overlook decades of career and service in one option for the hope and promise newly offered by another.

God help us all.

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