Break Free!

Published January 3, 2017 by sarcasmica

Dear Teachers of My Little Angels,

I tried. I really did, I swear. I tried really hard to prepare them for going back to school today. I even began prep last night.

7:45 Tuck everyone in. Everyone was bathed, storied, brushed, loved, and hugged.

7:49 Girl child comes downstairs claiming headache and inability to fall asleep
7:51 After list of complaints, hugs and stern “Good. Night.” was given

10:30 Surprise! The boy child is still reading. but he was reading, so that’s allowed, right? At least, this is what he tells me.

10:35 Lights out, happy sounds on to lull overachieving reader to sleep
10:36 “Mom. mooooooom. MOM”
10:37 Swallow fury and exhaustion and sternly correct all imperfections in sheets, blankets, hair, eyebrows, elbows. “Good. NIGHT.”

This brings us to this morning. I swear I tried! I did! I got up, made a hot breakfast for my little geniuses to have proper fuel for the glorious school return.

Fail.

Kids got lost in the bathroom, they forgot how to open drawers to find socks. They failed to operate spoons and cereal bowls, they were unable to locate both shoes.

On top of all of the joyous regular needs of school children, it was 18 degrees outside so we then had to operate jackets AND gloves. Pants AND boots. Scarves AND hair. It was mayhem.

And because I was busy showing/teaching/coaching/yelling directions, I failed in my own duties to foresee the ice covering my windshield. Getting all children out the door without death threats was a bonus, but sitting in the front seat staring at an iced over windshield was my undoing, Teach.

I scraped and cussed as the first bell rang.

The upside is that they were delivered with all appropriate cold weather fixes so they do not return from recess frozen kidsicles. The downside is that they will most likely forget at least two items of wardrobe either in the class before going outside, or just leaving them on the playground.

But I did what I could. It was all I could do not to drive immediately to the airport afterwards and head to California where there is family that would feed and water me, and a beach to soothe my mom-drenched, care-taker emptied soul.

So on the bright side, I WILL be there to pick them up this afternoon. .. i think … right after I check alaskaair.com.

Sincerely,

An appreciative and apologetic mom

P.S. I’d like it noted in my file that I made a hot breakfast AND made lunches. Lunches that did not include cheetohs or chocolate or fish. Although, my son did take a PB&J which I realize is virtually declaring war on the PTA. For this, I apologize but it appears my maid neglected to make it to the grocery store before today. She will swiftly be flogged and fired.

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