Muddled

Published April 18, 2017 by sarcasmica

Being a stay at home mom has turned my brain into Jello. This is not to say i’m not smart, that’s the frustrating part. I am…or I was once. I am lightening quick with vomit, diahrrea (pets or small human) laundry, finding appropriate snacks. I am more often than not Superhero levels of psychic when planning for an outing and having what may be required in any given situation. I have figured out how to make a meal for 4-5 people out of toothpicks, peanut butter  and soy sauce. I have wrangled Santa lore, Easter Bunny theory and Tooth Fairy visits all while navigating a freeway and dropped goldfish crackers.

Sometimes I’m kind of a badass. Then I get kicked in the nuts with how insufficiently i am prepared to deal solely with professional adults. Communicating with grown ups is not more complicated, but it has bigger consequences when you do it wrong.

Currently I am supposed to be coordinating with a designer to whip our new house into shape…preferrably the shape of a home people compliment you on when you walk in. A home where you feel shame for leaving dirty socks outside of a hamper…a home where there is something called a hamper. 

Y’all, I dont know what the hangup is, but scheduling and coordinating other adults is like wrangling sloths with ADD. With kids you can blame the kids. Maybe they forgot English. Maybe their ears were switched into the ‘off’ position. Maybe the TV reprogrammed their prefrontal cortex. With another grown up, there seems to be a disconnect in my own brain. I dont know if its because I overthink it all out of habit, or i’m clinically just stupid now. It’s amost depressing, but I can’t be bothered to care that much..it just means people’s expectations of me are now below what they would expect from my 6 year old.

If I follow through with an appointment or promise without having to apologize for some portion of the process I am impressed with myself.

The upside: the PTA has not requested me for any jobs. 
Disclaimer: I now must apologize for any misspelled or incomprehensible thoughts as my iPhone word press app no longer babysits my spelling/spellchecks.  Frankly nowadays we are no longer expected to identify this shit for ourselves anymore. 😱

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