Halloween Blues… or oranges

Published October 10, 2017 by sarcasmica

Ever feel like you just can’t even? Ever hear that phrase and want to smack someone? Something about moving and having construction going on has totally fizzled my Halloween fuzzies this year. I’m pretty bummed about it because we are finally in a “neighborhood”. You know, a place where everyone knows your business not because they care, but because the houses are so close they literally hear all the business you have going on. Like, my neighbors are probably just as annoyed at my kids in the morning because they all have to listen to me yelling at them. I wonder if they stop them as they walk to friend’s houses and coach them like, “Come on, man. Just leave your shoes by the front door. Then you’ll always know where they are. What are some ideas of how you can efficiently get out of bed and go brush your teeth in the morning? I’m rooting for you, kid.”

I was looking forward to this Halloween because we can actually just walk out our front door and start trick or treating. The last neighborhood had acre properties and black bears and coyotes roaming like the wild west… the wild wild northwest.

Also, when we moved in, my husband and/or the movers put one of our Halloween boxes up high in the garage. I’ve already ransacked the reachable box and put out what was salvageable. (I have a limit on how many school art projects I will continue using.. i’m sorry, but this is a sacred holiday. Construction paper monsters are cute for two rotations, and then they get to retire to their coffins)

I was just pondering and commenting to my husband the other day how writing has lost some pinache for me. I don’t feel like I can find enough funny to accurately relate to the blog … now, as I’m writing, I think it has more to do with the constant interjections of, “MOM.” thought thought thou- “Moooom.”

ohmygod.

“Mom.. oh wait a second…”  from now on I have the “Reality Filter” on, so every time my brain is jarred by a new pointless “MOM” I will relay that to you. Then maybe I can get to the root of my ina “Mom, i’m done! See? Look.” (pause for meaningful mom moment) inability to complete a thought, let alone pause the funny thought I had and then resume once the priorities are met. (kicking other kid off games atm)

“Mommymommymommymommy”

So yes… Halloween blues. We are hosting some fun construction for a few weeks. The jack hammering and constant in and out of workers is a bit “Mom …” hmmm, annoying “Mom?” doesn’t seem like the right word… but it really does. We are hoping to keep them here until they finish the entire job, so a Honey Bucket has been put in the driveway so they can answer the call of nature as they are building the deck.

It’s the only Halloween decoration that is outside of the house. A neighbor kindly suggested I slap a sign on there that reads, “White House”. .. she wasn’t wrong.

What’s worse is, as the days tick on I start thinking, “Why bother?” Seriously, it’s October 10th. We have an HOA. I can’t just get a late start and make up for the decoration time on the back end. If I leave out purple lights beyond November 1st or 2nd, I’ll probably be in violation of some douchey by law.

(Oh good, the kids are now playing together, so SURELY the “MOM!” count will go down now, right?  mwahahahahaaaaaa)

So yea, funny is gone. Halloween “Look, mom” Blues are real. This is the segment in the writing where I go back and proof read what i’ve written thus far “GRAMMA?” “Grammaaa????” but I my tolerance has fizzled. My pati “Hey mom, can you play with me?”  “Mom…”  ence is nil, I DGAF what i’ve said thus far because it’s all been interrupted causing my train of thought to derail.

UGH

Also, I find the depressing times that much more foggy and swampy to wade through just to get one idle, silly thought across. In the bigger picture of shootings and the farce of the White House and current state of the country, fart and poop stories just don’t rock my world like they used to. It’s official. … i’m a geezer.

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