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All posts for the month August, 2018

Nicey Nice

Published August 10, 2018 by sarcasmica

Do you ever meet people and think, “Dang, why can’t I be more like that?”? For me it usually happens when I meet warm, caring, nice people. Not just a nice person, but one of those people that lights up a room with their smile when they see you and usually follows it up with a genuine interest in how you’re doing. Someone who you walk away from feeling like they really listened to what you said and left you feeling all warm and happy inside. They may have even thrown in a tight warm hug for emphasis.

This is not me. This will never be me, but it’s always something I feel I lack and find myself chastising myself for not being.

However, tonight I went deeper after experiencing this feeling. Would I still be ‘me’ if my personality shifted to that ideal? The answer I found was “Nope.”

If I were a warm and fuzzy Nicey Nice, I would not have my biting, sarcastic, cynical sense of humor that has gotten me through some Life Shit. Not just Life, but the shitty parts; death, illness, death, broke ass-ness, kids, challenges, marriage, starting over in 4 states in five years.

Not to take anything away from Nicey Nices, but if I didn’t have these sharp edges and spikes, I don’t know that I would have come out of all the muck with the same outlook and perspective. Who knows? If I had somehow experienced a lobotomy and grown up shiny happy people, my life and perspective might be amazing and bubbly. Can you imagine?! All positivity and optimism from moi? What would this nonsense be called? Rainbow Sprinkles? Serenity Sings?

Ugh, seriously thank goodness for dark clouds and muddy puddles, I say.

There is something to be said for the comic relief, right? What is life without shedding some light on the craziness we all experience so we can all have a good laugh at the sheer absurdity of it all?

Can you laugh about your kid’s tantrums over coffee and no makeup with Nancy Nicety? Can you vent about the reality of marriage over margaritas with Martha Effing Stewart? …ok, bad example, she served time. But maybe all that attempted Nicey Nice is what eventually cracked her. It’s not for the weak, apparently.

I know I may not always be inclusive. I may not always be fully listening. I may not give warm hugs and dazzling heart warming smiles, but hopefully I make you laugh at something you thought was unlaughable at least once. That is what I bring to the clique, sarcasm and dark clouds.

…and you better wear pink on Wednesday, bitches.

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August Mom In Full Swing

Published August 8, 2018 by sarcasmica

It is August, y’all. The origin of the very term: August Mom. I’m getting by. I’m getting through.

“But are you ENJOYING your children???? You will MISS this time very soon, you know. I wish I could have this time back with MY children.”

Oh yea? Then take mine. Go ahead, I dare you.

Four weeks left until school starts. One is signed up for camp for one blissful week, the other is doing ‘chore camp’ here at home. We don’t even mind because he gets paid and I get to say my house is a mediocre-level of clean without having to do it myself. Win/Win.

A few weeks ago we cut our kids’ screen time more than in half. I was a lazy mom, i’ll go ahead and say it. I allowed screens to take the place of imagination, productivity, and physical activity in the name of convenience, sanity, and zen. I’m still a lazy mom, but it’s for their own benefit. It’s not my job to entertain you. I did that for the first 4-5 years of your life. Now you get to operate that big brain and all those limbs on your own. Get to it.

I have noticed a difference and we are not turning back. We have slowly weaned them back to a more reasonable amount of time from the 1-2hr/day limit we started with. Now I will go over the 1-2 hours for car rides, doc appointments, errands.

They still moan, but not as much. They still badger about when they get their time, but not as often. You know what they do? They make giant messes all over the house with toys that we all trip over and step on. They use 20% of the toys at their disposal instead of whining they don’t know what to do with 100% of them. They sleep better – and this is the biggest benefit, hands down. My ADHD kid has never been an easy go-to-sleeper. Lately he is conked out after tucking him in. Once in a while he’ll pop back up for anxiety reasons, but more often than ever in his life, he gets to sleep and stays there. The other benefit is playing outside more. We live in the pacific north west and sometimes it feels like we have two seasons: Raining all the time and too damn hot. (a/c is not a readily accessible convenience here so summers can be tough for weeks at a time) The outside play in the hot evenings has definitely contributed to the better sleep and I’m not complaining about that.

They still bicker with each other. They still fight over toys. The house is just a constant shifting mess, but we are five weeks and counting until school.

We seem to have scrapped the one small family vacation we dared utter out loud we wanted to do, so I’ve had to improvise with museum trips and zoo trips. Naturally this is the best behaved any of us are for the day. Having witnesses is a highly undervalued parenting tool, in my opinion. Of course all hell breaks loose for us all in the gift shops, but beggars cant be choosers.

We are now off to the dentist. Summers: Recreation and Medical Appointment catch-up. Fun fun fun!

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