It’s amazing how long a person can live in denial. Weight denial. Wait, denial? Yes. De Nile of the wait.

I have managed to avoid getting on our scale here at home. … until this weekend. My daughter has been saying she weights 100lbs and I realized I had no idea if that was true or not. She’s 8, so she likes doing all kinds of fun things together. Unfortunately she hasn’t yet learned the privacy of the weigh in.

So now i’m having to think, “Crap. I have to act like whatever number that pops up is fine.” Can’t give kids weight shaming ideas these days. I also have to act like it’s fine that  another human being is allowed to be in the room with me while i’m on the scale and said human is not wielding a stethoscope or weight watchers badge. I don’t even let my husband see the number and I know i’m not alone in this.

So she steps on and the scale brings up a reasonable number for a girl her age and height. Excitedly she pipes up, “Your turn!! Go ahead, mom!”

Seriously, can we please consider going back in time and just being all gross and self-hating within the radius of a scale? Was that so bad?? (I know, i know, shush.)

I get on and I shit you not, I did the whole cliched, “wait, what? that can’t be right” and dismounted to jiggle the scale and retry. It made a five pound difference. It needed to make a twenty pound difference.

My eyes bugged out of my head, but lucky for me my daughter was trying to figure out the unusually large number flashing on the digital face so she didn’t see my own staring in disbelief.

I attributed the giant unexpected number to my jeans and sweater… we wear sturdy clothes here in the Pacific Northwest, ya know… like 15lbs of sturdy in the sweater and at least 10lbs in the jeans. .. all that rain.

But seriously, I was astonished. Holidays shmolidays, this reached out and punched me right in my overhanging gut. You would think that would be a wake up call and motivation to really kick up my “Trying Not To Die” lifestyle change of walking every other day and preparing for a year of 5ks and eventually a 10K. And it did jolt me, but I still went out and had mexican food with the kids that night.

I caught myself tonight thinking, “Remember. It’s just a number on a scale. It doesn’t measure your health or happiness.” I don’t know if I was saying this more to myself or to the nacho chip I was shoving in my mouth. ..

But seriously. Once these Oreos are gone, I am getting serious about sugar and carbs. If all that’s left is carrots and the front lawn, so be it!

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