…and then there is this one. My second, my grand finale. My girl. Lordy, where do I begin with this girl?
She started out so easy. She was the opposite of her brother. For a minute we thought it would be another tricky pregnancy, but by some happenstance, it righted itself. Delivery was fairly simple compared to her brother. At least I got drugs with her… twice, even! She was the unicorn of babies in that she slept through the night fairly early on. What an angel! She was an adorable toddler, and the 3’s and Effing 4’s were just a blip of ‘tude here and there.
My girl is all heart and I have no idea where she gets that. She is creeping into a very grey area for us, though. She is not yet a tween, but someone forgot to send the memo to her hormones. This angel has suddenly become full of sass and sarcasm. (hmmm)
So there it is. My daughter is a challenge because she is all of the best of me out in the world. She is the other half of my heart, but along with that is my attitude and snark and humor. She embodies all of the things I wish I could be, and also the things I have always needed to love in myself. Daughters are challenging because they force their mothers to find the acceptance and the good in themselves.
This girl of mine is so tenderhearted and at the same time so fierce in her temper. She is strong and she is determined and she is innocent.
We need to strengthen our girls’ self worth, but we can’t build that for them and not ourselves as their mothers. My daughter can’t love her body if she sees me covering mine. My daughter can’t appreciate the strength in her legs if all I see is the jiggle in mine. My daughter will not look at a number on a scale as a piece of information if she sees me allow it to determine my happiness.
My daughter has taught me to be more gentle. More forgiving. More patient. More appreciative. Now my challenge is to also appreciate the changes she is apparently going through in her head. I need to work extra hard to make sure those changes don’t alter her heart. Outside influences can have easy access to manipulate our daughter’s self worth and it is an ongoing battle to protect them.
I need to stop comparing her to her brother, as is the albatross of a younger sibling. She is making her own space in this world with her strength and brilliance. She makes me so proud with her determination. I hope to be like her some day.