Parenting In The Time of Discord

I think i’d almost prefer cholera…almost.

The problem is that i’ve already established that there is no tech/chat/discord privacy in this house- for the teenager, obvi. For myself my friends know what to do in the untimely tragedy of my death.

So because my kid knows I look through his phone, he is somewhat careful with what is left for me to see.

I am absolutely certain he deletes crap I dont know about. We’ve reached the milestone of tech savvy the pediatricians dont put on the growth charts. He has surpassed my own abilities.

So now every so often I have to have this conversation with myself regarding checking his phone:

“Been a while since we looked… are we up for this right now?”

“Are we ever?”

“He has been in a pretty good mood lately, cant we just enjoy it?”

“No. We are Mom. He is teen. We don’t get to have prolonged enjoyment of each others’ company.”

“But I like living with the naive assumption he is an angel and has not done anything I would disapprove of online.”

“Well you’ve acknowledged that you should look, so now you have to. No one else is gonna do it. It’s up to you.”

(Hearty round of silent expletives)

FINE! Goodbye jovial, easy, comfortable exchanges. Hello death stares and attitude.

So yea. That was my evening. There was nothing awful or consequence-worthy. Hell, I even found one exchange where he squelches someone else’s behavior and admits that his parents read his exchanges. I was impressed.

But seriously, parents, can we collectively agree that discord is the devil? I hate it. I hate it with a passion. I understand they think it is The Way, but it is The Waste. The Waste of energy and time. What happened to group chats? One-on-one texts? What happened to- dare I say it- phone calls?!

The day teenagers realize there is no transcript to be read or left as admissible evidence when one simply ‘chit chats’ with an actual voice over an actual phone, heads are gonna explode like the 4th of July. But what can you do in a pandemic? This is his only connection to the outside unrelated world.

I mean if he doesnt actively ignore his school day, is he even a student? What do I expect, a camera to be turned on?! That would be so sus. Having the ability to be in Health class without actually having to avoid making eye contact with anyone is so underwhelming for these guys. PE without having to change clothes inside a 6×6 cubby hole of a locker is wildly blasè.

Wow, I really took the tangent express there. I was simply trying to say texting while in class because you are at home “learning” is so routine now. It’s hard to keep up, and Discord life isnt helping. The fact that names mean nothing and can be changed infinitely just hurts my head. I see why not all parents follow up or snoop or spy or whatever fun language you use to do it. Its mentally taxing and it is like premeditating the destruction of your parent/teen bond.

And let me tell you, those bonds can be tenuous at BEST most days. To pull the guillotine on a positive portion of the parenting timeline is not easy. But its our duty… I guess, or whatever.

So who’s with me? Down with discord! I shudder to think what will take it’s place.

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