Aging Painfully


This is one of those gripey posts, so just move along if you aren’t interested.

You know that saying that only the lucky have the privilege of aging? All due respect, I call bullshit. In the past two weeks, my privileged aging body has been defeated by the most simple of obstacles:

1. Bug Bites: Had to see a doc and get an antibiotic for some angry bug bites/stings that somehow became infected all the way down into my lymph nodes, and are STILL giving me grief causing a second Doc trip tomorrow


2. Kayak: maneuvering this behemoth body off of a dock and onto a kayak has proven more challenging than my 20’s could have prepared me for. Managing the reverse was even less impressive and the noises my body made in front of family and neighbors as I rolled onto the dock …. i’ll leave it to the imagination

3. A Dorito. A single chip. This chip has brought down one of my last remaining baby teeth. I started my 40’s with 7 baby teeth and after this one finally gives up, ill have 3 left. The feeling of chewing something and causing a tooth to bend backwards into your mouth from the gum is supposed to happen in your first decade of life. Why? So you don’t have to remember that feeling. That sensation is capsized by BFF drama, Christmas, and getting your first dog. NOT something to relive in your 40’s.

Currently, I am getting ready for a trip. A solo trip with just me, myself, and I flying to my hometown to spend a week of bliss with my childhood BFF who is also without her offspring. We are supposed to be enjoying an untethered, carefree time without a worry in the world ……. except now I have to worry what part of my body will decide to sabotage me next. Will I end up in Depends? A wheelchair? Will I come down with shingles or debilitating arthritis? Will I suddenly start shouting at people to step off of nearby lawns and cluck disapprovingly at scantily clad young women in my vicinity?

I want to continue to enjoy this time in my life when everyone assumes you have your shit together because you are solidly in your forties and MUST’VE figured out something about how to Adult by now. I’d like to keep that clever guise going, but i’m afraid between all the randomly placed ailments and bodily failures, I am running out of energy for this.


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