Don’t mind me, I’m just here parenting through the stress. No big whoop.
With the Pandemic Pandemonium in full swing, everything else is either amplified or pales in comparison. I find this Covid pandemic puts things into really clear perspective…. mostly.
For instance, having drama at your job right now is a luxury. It means you have a job.
Feeling exhausted in the morning because you woke up early for work or kids means you had some place to go and something to do. Plus, you woke up.
Right now I am treading water and rrrrrreally trying to keep a grip on my tiny life preserver. Things keep getting thrown at me and I swear I am holding it together. When my therapist told me yesterday with an appreciative shake of her head, “Man, you have an amazing sense of humor to be able to get through all of this stuff! I honestly am impressed that you have handled it all as well as you have.” I felt like I could give myself a small pat on the back.
And you know what happens when you get comfortable in your stress and chaos? “BAM!” The universe says, “Oh yea, bitch? You think it’s ok?”
Two weeks ago my daughter broke her arm in a most impressive fashion. She fell off her bike and into a curb and broke her arm in three places. This is how she started the new school year. We made it through the stress. We managed it all as it was hurled at us. There has been extended family drama, there has been drama with friends, and there has been work drama.
Managing. I am holding it together with duct tape and chewing gum, folks.
Today we were finishing up a Friday delicacy of take out pizza when I hit my limit. My daughter was in the living room as I bent over to carefully take our dog out of his crate to go outside. (in the pouring rain) The same dog that was at the vet last week for a whole day taking tests and xrays because he was screaming in pain. All to find out he had a bulging disc and had to be restrained and medicated all week to heal. Out of the corner of my eye I see my kid flash to the ground and land on her cast.
My heart sank, my stomach dropped as she lay there screaming about her side and her (already broken) arm burning.
Immediately I go to her and assess the immediate damage, as I carefully hug her, I morph into a momma grizzly as my husband and son come shouting with questions about what happened. I fend them off first to make sure she’s ok and to control the hysteria before it gets even bigger.
As we are all processing the chaos, I am finding it hard to breath. I’m sighing a lot to try and manage my stress as I also try and help contain everyone else’s while getting enough oxygen to my brain for it to function.
This is the closest i’ve come to completely losing my shit. I think the last time I felt this precariously on edge was after the car accident the kids and I were in about 5/6 years ago.
This has been a month of bullshit, quite frankly, and I’ll be glad to move onto October. I’m hoping for a boring and mundane month.