Geriatric School


I had the bright idea 2 months ago to go back to school and get my AA and then a teaching degree.

Have I had a stroke? No. Not that I know of. I’m just a glutton for doing things the hard way. 45 and paying someone to teach me math. Math that I failed twice 20 years ago.

Why dont I just light money on fire?

I applied for the local community college to finish my AA thinking it would be fairly simple compared to the parking, offices, and lines of yesteryear when I did this the first time. Ye Olde Registration Office. I submitted my info, followed the steps to become “official”, and then just waited for class registration this month.

Easy peasy, right? No. Very wrongeth. See the college changed their whole student navigation/organization system. Back when I spoke with the admissions counselor and was told every possible step and order to what I may or may not need to do, she failed to mention I needed to re-register with the new system.

Last night I finalized my class selection in anticipation of the FIVE AM registration date today and saw that students already registered needed to resubmit a new application before classes could be selected. No biggie, right? I did it once, I can do it again…. Except it takes up to 5 days for a live person to scrape eyes across my quality, in-depth application which basically consists of evidence that you are a functioning live human who has a birthday. I stayed up until midnight filling out the new paperwork, woke up at my regular 5:30 time and checked if I’d be able to possibly register for my whopping 2 online classes. I was denied.

Why cant the broken system work in someones favor? Like, “oopsie! You accomplished what you set out to do and our system allowed it. So sorry. Guess you get to pay us to fail you in math for a third time!”

I cannot tell you the amount of anxiety that floods me when I start thinking of how Im going to possibly understand Algebra now at 45, or write a term paper with a bibliography.

How does that even work these days? Just a bunch of website addresses? No more Library trips and dewey decimal system and armloads of real books and noted page numbers …

Im going to feel like a cave woman in these classes. Im not ashamed to say I know I will need help from my 15 year old, not only for the tech stuff, but definitely for the equation and formula stuff.

So keep a positive thought for me. I wonder if the Depends will make me stand out more than the abacus, pencil and paper..? Maybe the gray hair will help me blend into the community college background of mediocre hopes and dreams.

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